Come fly away with me...

2003-04-09T20:17:00.000-05:00

blog has moved permanently to http://www.beyondazure.com/mt/azure please update all links...i will keep this here for future reference...thank you and may love shine upon you...

2003-04-08T09:28:00.000-05:00

tired, tired, tired...

ok, so i'm frickin' tired ovah heah...i have 2 readings to do today, and if i get no new orders, i'm takin' a break... i have a new tarot deck on order...hopefully it will arrive tomorrow (today would be better, but i think it will get here tomorrow)... i have things i wanna change on the new blog thingy, and i don't know how to change them...verrrry frustrating... for the helluvit, i downloaded movable type...but their installation instructions are more than a bit intimidating...(reminds me of when i installed ikonboard onto the old site) ...plus the fact that i do not know how to access the shell of my site, making it that much more difficult...i liked my other webhost better...it was easier to work with...this one is for idiots who know nothing of the internet, and it's very frustrating...so, i have to modify stuff through my FTP thingy, and THAT'S annoying...ugh...it's not my day i got 5 books yesterday that i ordered from onespirit.com...i'll try to list them later...i'm too tired... i keep yawning, so that's not good, and my eyes are all watery even though i've been up for over an hour...anyway, i'm gonna email the bastages that run the blog thing and see if i can change stuff...i'll cya when i cya...

2003-04-07T10:32:00.000-05:00

movin' on up...

the blog is moving...i have new edition in the works...stay tuned for updates!

update

if you want to view the work in progress...go to: http://www.beyondazure.com/journal/azure.php not sure if i'm going to move all the other silly shit i have on this blog to that one (i.e., the zonkboard, my blogroll...) i suppose i should move the blogroll, at least...anyway...that's all for now...more updates to come!

2003-04-06T22:59:00.000-05:00

well...i don't know what to say...

i'm gonna take down this blog...yeah, i said it...it's gonna be history...i check my stats daily (basically just to see who visits me...i recognize most of my friends' visits this way) and i usually go by "referral url"...i can't take all the google hits for the nasty crap i mentioned in a previous post...so, i'm gonna download my archive and hit "delete" on this edition of my journal...i really don't know if i will make another public blog...i love writing, don't get me wrong...but i think i need to go back to square one and start writing in a "real" journal again...you know...like, on paper? ;) i just don't know what i want to do yet, but rest assured, for those that i visit to read about MY life (not to look for disgusting pics), i will keep you updated on my decision...it makes me so sad now to visit my stats on sitemeter and see all of that garbage...i don't have the heart for it...so, be that as it may, i wish you all the best in the world...i will still be able to be reached by email...bookmark my website, if you are interested in my jewelry or a reading...ok? :) and now, for something more lighthearted...

free readings...yeah, you heard me...free! heh

so, i've been experimenting w/some new tarot spreads recently, and have come across one that i would really like to offer on my website...however, i need more "practice" w/it before i will feel comfortable enough to charge people for it...hehe...so, here's the deal:

it's a relationship spread...so, only those actually in a relationship need apply
i will be able to provide 5 readings (time permitting)...i will email those i choose & update when the quota is filled
please do not give me too much info! all i really need is both names & that's it!! no, "he did this", "she does that" stuff, ok? ;)
please allow me at least 3 days to complete the readings once i have informed you that you were chosen...

i think that's it! please email requests to freetarotbyazure@hotmail.com...thanks! and i'll cya when i cya!

2003-04-05T13:58:00.000-06:00

i think i am letting myself become too sensitive again...

because things like this really make me sad, sickened, and incredulous... the story is about a vegan couple in NY recently convicted of practically starving their child...malnourishing their baby...the little girl, at 15 months, could not sit up, could not crawl, could not walk...the child had NO TEETH!! i can't even go further b/c it just kills me that people would do this to their child...i understand they have a belief, i understand they were following THEIR choice of being vegans and not consuming animal products...but as humans, do we not breastfeed our babies w/our own milk? what happened to that? what about all the soy formulas out there? if they didn't want something like regular milk...the child was so malnourished she was too weak to even cry...they say the couple could get as much as 25 yrs each...honestly, i can't say i wish it was more...or less...i just feel so much for this little child...what did she do to deserve such a rough start?? *sigh* yeah, colour me sensitive today... cya when i cya...

2003-04-04T10:30:00.000-06:00

so, what have i been up to lately?

well, the site is up (you may have noticed it listed under services to your right) and i'm getting orders for tarot readings, so i think that's really cool...even got an order for an aura reading the other day, which is tres faboo...i got the newsletter set up, got the usernames/passwords created (i decided to make it password protected this way access to the discounts and such would only be available to members of the mailing list)...i'll probably set up input for people to choose their own username & password eventually, but for now it will be a shared password...have to make this months page though, so i have something to show for it, eh? ;) anywho, i need to order more materials for the jewelry thing...i think i'm ready to start showing off my work, just have to get enough stuff to make some killer pieces...i even have a request for a piece already (see, jen! you knew that one first!! ;) hehe) so, that is major good news...the girl that requested it is one of my most staunchest supporters...Jen, you rock!!!! :-D she even wrote a killer testimonial for me for the site (have to make that page today...see, more stuff you knew, Jen! heh)...anyway, that's THAT news... in other news, i've been frequenting a forum for people who are interested in/read tarot...it has been amazing so far...so many knowledgeable people on the subject, i've learned alot from them, and hope i've been able to provide good input there as well...i've been debating creating an online course for learning the Tarot...or at least creating a discussion list for those interested in discussing it...not sure which way to go, so we shall see...i don't know how good of a teacher i would be...but it's something i've been guided to look into, so that's what i'm doing... i've been really happy lately ('cept for the funk around my bday) and i'm not questioning it...i'm going w/the flow and i'm hoping the rest of you are enjoying your particular "rides" as well...hopefully gonna make a trip to the coast soon...need it badly...take care everybody...i'll check back in wit'cha later...cya when i cya!

2003-04-03T01:09:00.000-06:00

sorry if this is your first visit to my blog...

and you had to read that entry down below...i will make an effort to control my foul language from here on in...hopefully, whatever sick bastards find me now will get the message before they even click the link...i'm hoping... well, it's time for bed...my back is killing me and i'm tired...i made a newsletter thingy for the website...gonna have discounts and good stuff like that...but for some reason, it's not loading even though i've added it...meaning the new stuff isn't loading on the intro page...the other stuff i added is all there...works like a charm too...i feel so professional...hehe... ok...ni'night...cya when i cya!

2003-04-02T18:39:00.000-06:00

ok, i'm seriously pissed off now, so be prepared for the rant...

to the sick motherfuckers who keep googling my blog looking for incest pics, you are disgusting, you are foul, you are scum...no, wait...scum is too good for you...you are the putrescent piss on the bottom of scum....you are not human, do you hear me!?!?! you all deserve long painful torturous deaths at the hands of some backwater redneck (picture Deliverance here people) toothless sicko named Bobby Joe...Billy Bob...or whateverthefuck...i hope you all suffer a hideous painful cancer-ridden death...ptui!

if you are wondering where this comes from, it is b/c of the rant i did a short while ago wherein i stated (and i will quote it b/c then they will find this entry when they google...bastages) that my father fucked me, my mother fucked me, etc....it was "fucked me over" you morons!! i get numerous hits daily for people looking for incest pics...but the worst came today...just a short while ago...some revolting putrid piece of slime did a search for "baby daughter fuck with father"...i have this sonofabitch's IP, and if i were a nicer person i wouldn't fuck w/them...as it is, i will sic hacker friends on his ass...piece of dogshit that they are...this is all...to all sick pedophile incest-loving perverts out there, do not visit my blog...i have your IP addresses and there will be hell to pay...

that is all...end transmission...

2003-04-01T11:35:00.000-06:00

this is what happens to naughty visitors...

who don't leave comments...you get bombarded w/silly questionnaires...hahahaha...i'm so evil... questionnaire stolen from Heather

Age: 31 (duh)
Sex: yes, and often
Location: texas...or 4th rim of hell...whichever you prefer to call it
Name: Lilly
Name you wish you had: anything more exotic than this one...my daughter has names i wanted at some point...Jazmine & Anastasia
The last person you slept with: my darlin'
Beer or Liquor: beer is disgusting and i don't drink liquor...last drink i had was a nice Malbec
Children: 2...Ian Zachary (soon to be 3), and Jaz (see above) (soon to be 1!)
If you had one wish what would it be: for Utopia
Tampons or pads: yyyeeeeeeeaaaaah...please, that would gross ME out...
Favorite sex symbol: sex symbol?? haha Sean Connery! (most men these days look like women...blech!)
Biggest Druggie you know: oh i could so get in trouble for saying what i wanna say...heh
A cup or D cup: does anyone really need to know this? it's more than one D and i ain't sayin how many
Cappuccino or Coffee: Espresso...no foam
Sex or Food: Sex...silly question
Does size really matter: only if it hurts...
Shape: Triangle!
Cherries or Strawberries: toughie...strawberries have more fiber (less carbs...) but cherries are soooooo delicious!!
Chocolate or Whip Cream: i'll just quote Heather here..."yes, please!"
Horses or Cows: what??? neither, they're both ugly, and why are we discussing farm animals?
Pigs or People: (Heather, your response killed me) um...people really...most of them smell better than pigs...but not all...hehe
Men or Women: Men...
Dodge or SAAB: toughie...Dodge...
Work or Play: work at play and play at work is what i say...
Man's best friend or Woman's best friend: both and neither
Mickey or Minnie: why? ok...mickey
Piglet or Pooh: pooh...though i always liked tigger best
Bed or Floor: for what? sleeping or...nevermind...bed
Couch or Chair: again...i must get my mind out of the gutter...couch!
Toilet or Tub: wtf? where do ppl get this shit? ok...tub!
Best Friends: Heather
Worst Enemies: like i have any? i'm too lovable for that! hehe ;)
Best Job: Mom
Worst Job: cleaning out the grease trap in a deli...ugh!
Black undies or White undies: black...don't do white much anymore
Tequila or Jack Daniels: tequila if i had to choose
Boxers or Briefs: how about boxer briefs? i like those!!
On Deck or Below Deck: huh? since when did we go sailing? or am i that dense??
69 or Doggie: no comment...heh
Dream Car: lotus...ever since "test drive"...
Type of car you drive: i don't, but my darlin' has a Dodge Ram charger thingy
Word or Phrase you overuse: "hehe"
Toothpaste: something by crest w/scope in it i think...
Favorite Restaurant: Ruth's Chris steakhouse
Romance or Ambiance: Romance all the way baby
Favorite town to chill in: NYC
Favorite Ice Cream: Dulce de Leche
What's your bed time: dunno, i tend to pass out at night...11-ish?
Favorite article of clothing: anything comfy...
Favorite Cologne/perfume: i need new stuff...gucci rush is the only one i have left
Favorite Song: "virtual insanity" jamiroquai
Favorite subject in school: mathematics
Least Favorite subject: phys ed
Favorite Sport to watch: Hockey!!!!!
Craziest person or funniest person you know: my darlin'
Most humiliating moment: the only one i can remember is not worth mentioning...something to do w/taking swimming in 5th grade i think
Favorite Holiday: christmas!
What kind of work do you want to do: just wanna be my own boss...
Marriage or Shack up: well, that's up to the individual, technically we are "shacked up", but my darlin' is my husband, no matter what...
If You Could Streak in front of someone's' house whose would it be: now why would i want to scare people like that?
Goofy or Regular: i like my coffee Goofy thanks...;)
Do you type with the correct fingers on the correct keys: yep...years of typing classes, baby...plus a mom who is a secretary
What is under your bed: the carpet
Do you prefer mud wrestling or J-ello wrestling: at least you can eat the jello afterwards...jello
Favorite Things to do in the winter: snuggle, but i'm a human furnace, so it's usually the other person snuggling me...which is fine by me
High School: Elizabeth High School (and Hillside for 9th & half of 10th)
Bacon Bits or Croutons: bacon....who said bacon??
Hobbies: jeez...why do ppl ask this? i dunno...picking my nose?
Favorite Board Game: Monopoly
Do you ever save AOL conversations: no, why would i?
What is the best number: 13
Where's the craziest place you've had sex: abandoned orphanage...seriously
Biggest regret: none
Favorite Shampoo or Conditioner: Redken All Soft
Do you believe in:
- Love at first sight: could be...
- Aliens: yep
- Ghosts: yep
Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: not anymore
Right, Left, Or Ambidextrious: Ambi, but prefer right

2003-03-31T14:16:00.000-06:00

hi everybody!!

sorry i sound like such a dork!

i didn't wanna write anything down to say b/c it would sound like i was reading...and i didn't want to sound like a total dork, but i'm pretty sure i do...as always, you never sound like you think you sound...i sound much more like my aunt Maria than i thought i did...but, that's that...not much else in the news...have a little work to do on the website...developing a new thing, and i'm not sure if it will be received well...so, w/that in mind, wish me luck!! :o) cya when i cya!

2003-03-31T09:52:00.000-06:00

fun, fun, fun...

well, i started off my birthday right w/a big ole cry in the morning...i always end up crying on my birthday for something or other, so it's best to get it out of the way bright and early... we *were* going to go out to dinner, but that was squashed due to being blackmailed regarding the childcare...SO...we got stuff from Sam's (wholesale place...) and planned to bbq and whatnot that night...well, that didn't happen either (what a shock), nor did i get anything for my birthday (that will come later)...except a check from my grandmother which i cannot accept...so, that was my fun day...had a better time on Sunday b/c we *did* get to bbq (mmmm...fajitas...caramelized onions...kielbasa...sauerkraut...mustard (w/horseradish!!)...mmmm) hehe...got wine too, but didn't open it up...will probably save it for another special occasion...(cheapest frickin' wine on the planet, but it tastes amazing, so i love it!!) don't know what else to tell ya...i'm reeeeeeally looking forward to kielbasa leftovers...(don't ask, i just love the stuff...must be my german heritage or something) oh, and i had a big ole cheat last night (and on my b-day, actually)...last night i had an amazing eclair from Earl Abel's (diner style restaurant here in SA)...on my bday i tried a Moonpie (for the very first time)...i could easily live w/o the moonpie...it was good, but i've never been fond of marshmallow...but the eclair was divine...hehe...bad Lilly...bad!! all those carbs will put 1/2 an inch on my waist! ok, that *may* be an exaggeration...hehe anyway, time to get going...cya when i cya! :)

2003-03-28T23:44:00.000-06:00

so, this is it!

at precisely 3:36am this coming morning i will be 31 years old...isn't it exciting? hehe...

in other news

we will probably be going to Ruth's Chris again...don't know if we are doing anything else special...i wanted to take the kids to the zoo, but supposedly the weather's gonna be crappy...so, that will have to wait... i don't know how much weight i've lost since restarting Atkins...i know it's been slow going, but it's picking up now that i'm actually exercising! hehe... i've been using the pedometer thing and i will be lucky to get to 5,000 steps a day in a month! lol...i average about 1700 a day...which isn't bad, it's over half a mile, but i really need to improve on that...so, 10,000 steps a day in two months then...i can do it!! ;) hehe also, i'd like to know why i always lose weight around my middle first? my ass and thighs are always the last to go...bastages...i'm used to the ass thing by now (afterall, i'm half-brazilian...asses grow in my family, not shrink), but enough w/the thunder-thighs, dammit...my calves look all small and my thighs are just...bam! (blech!) *sigh* one of these days, when i'm a size 6, i'll look back on this and laugh...really i will...:-P anyway, major soreness from that Pilates bodyball workout...my abs hurt everywhich way...ugh...hurts to laugh, even, so you know i got to the deep muscles...feels good though, so i'm not complaining, just reporting! the oddest positions you find yourself in during that workout? try on your tummy, arms back holding your feet, pulling up on your feet and then rocking back and forth...yeah...crazy!! lol...anyway, great workout... can't think of anything else...i have one free trial of that audio post...any suggestions? wanna hear me sing? ;) hehe...masochists...cya when i cya!

2003-03-28T09:02:00.000-06:00

people must really think i'm stupid...

the worst part of being on aol is the spam...it's really annoying that people send you stupid zip files and they really think you're gonna download them...uh, helllloooo?? i'm not that dumb... another one, which i just got today, was from some chick saying i got an insta-kiss & to go to this page to get it...it was an angelfire page, so i was curious to see wtf (my curiosity will get me into trouble one day...) so, the page looks like an aol log-in thing and you have to put in your sn & password...do i have "idiot" tattoo'd somewhere? no...i don't...these people must be on crack, that's all i hafta say... oh, and i've also blocked the offenders who sent me stuff from aol sn's...dumbasses... cya when i cya...have lots of housework to do today...:) hehe

2003-03-27T13:11:00.000-06:00

Review: Pilates Bodyball Kit

yeah, i know i don't normally do "reviews" or anything like that...but i finally tried this workout and i wanted to tell someone about it...heh So, here we have a Pilates mat workout w/the addition of a 1 lb. "body ball"...the ball is rubber, fits in the palm of your hand and has the same texture as a basketball (grips well)...you wouldn't think a 1 lb. ball would make much of a difference, but WHOA NELLY! it sure does...the videotape included in the kit is hosted by Ana Caban who seems very down to earth and is easy to watch and listen to...she's not annoying like that Denise Austin chick ("c'mon! you can do it! one more! you know you can!" grrrrrrrrrrr.....), but this isn't an aerobic workout either...the moves are very slow and controlled, there is alot of stretching and flexing of muscles...i'm reasonably out of shape, and i was able to follow along w/most of the moves...the tape basically consists of Ana & another woman (doing the easier version of each move, so you can follow her instead of Ana if needed) doing the moves, while you hear Ana's voice giving instructions...no big production, no crazy stuff...just a nice, simple workout...now, don't get me wrong, this workout kicks ass...if you follow Ana (which i was able to do on some moves) you will really feel your muscles working...there is alot of focus on the abdominal muscles, but you work ALL of your muscles in this workout, trust me!! i was amazed at the positions i could put my body into (hush...keep your mind(s) out of the gutter) and the muscles i was feeling as i was doing the workout...i don't know if this is enough information for the average workout enthusiast, but i found it to be challenging w/o killing me, and very enjoyable...i'm looking forward to using it again! (and i still feel it in my ab muscles, so i know i'm gonna be sore as hell tomorrow) the kit provides the ball and a VHS version of the workout (wish they had DVD)...all you need is comfy clothes and either a mat or a reasonably well carpeted area to work out on... i highly recommend the Pilates Bodyball Kit...A+++

2003-03-27T08:31:00.000-06:00

for those that love memes

go check out Jake's weekly 3XThursday...i won't bore you w/my answers, but he always has great questions...cya later...i'm a busy woman today...hehe

2003-03-26T18:58:00.000-06:00

AOhelL...really?

the other day i noticed a thingy to block pop-ups while using the browser provided by AOL...so, i set it up and tried it...and by golly, it actually works...almost makes the torture of using AOL bearable...that is all...cya later...

2003-03-26T13:15:00.000-06:00

wow...look at what a few linkies can do!

a couple of people link to you, and all of a sudden you find yourself loaded w/hits...amazing...don't be shy people...you can comment if you like...no need to be a member...or put in your email or site...just type your "name" and go...lol funny...

audio

saw a link to make an audio blogger entry (i think it's only 2 minutes)...might try it later if i get bored...hehe

also in the news

my birthday is coming up...i will be *cringe* 31 years old...never thought i'd make it this far...when i was little i used to hope i'd die by 40...fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on YOUR view), i have quite some time left on this little ball of...well, whatever our planet is made out of...mostly metals, right? i read too much sci-fi, can't remember what's real (or not)... anyway, so i've been doing some thinking...(scary, isn't it?) and i've come to the conclusion that things can only get better from here on out...i mean, i've been through it all...death, cancer, loss of all possessions, homelessness, betrayal (omg...if *that* hasn't reached its apex, i'm gonna go nuts), suicide attempts, hopelessness, depression, etc. you get the picture...wtf is left but for me to die? that's the only thing i haven't experienced...so, rather than wait for THAT to happen, i'm just gonna enjoy the rest of this ride and see what life has to bring me...can't be any worse than what i've already handled, and if i handled that mess, i can certainly breeze my way through whatever's left... so, there ya go...my philosophy..."bring it on, baby!" hahaha...ok, so i'm nuts, leave me alone, at least i'm smilin'... cya when i cya people...i'm outta here...

2003-03-25T08:38:00.000-06:00

whadya think?

some time ago i coloured my hair BACK to it's natural colour...been thinking about adding blonde highlights or going blonde-r...i know i have no pics for you to go by, but i wanted to ask if highlights are outdated now? i'd be doing them myself...hehe...i'm such a "frankenstein"...i love experimenting w/my hair...if i don't colour it, i'm gonna let it grow out (natural) and perm it (myself) on huge ass rollers so i can get really big waves...opinions? anyone?? ;) cya later...

2003-03-24T09:02:00.000-06:00

life...

well, it certainly has been keeping me busy! lol...my darlin' & i rearranged our room on Sunday, and i still have things to put away... gotta go exercise, i was lazy and didn't do anything all weekend...bad Lilly! bad! ;) i've been working all weekend on the website too...and it's "nearly" finished...actually, it really is finished (i have to put the jewelry up, but that's it)...just needs a little tweaking, but it is functional...i'm debating different design elements (i.e., make a nav bar or just put a row of links at the bottom of the page) and the only other thing i haven't really done is check for browser compatibility... i discovered that there is a blog function available from a partner of the webhost i chose...i signed up, so if i can get it to work and look good, i'll probably just leave this up w/a link to the new blog...or keep the other blog for other stuff...who knows? oh, and for Heather...i painted my nails a "natural beige"...they got chewed up and stuff recently (you remember what i do to my fingers, don'cha?), so i don't want to draw too much attn to them...i've been using that "liquid bandage" stuff to let them heal, and so far it's working pretty good!! well, the kiddies had breakfast, and now it's time for da mama... cya when i cya...

2003-03-21T18:12:00.000-06:00

blah, blah, blah...

not much going on today...just working on the website & feeding/playing with/watching the kiddies...oh yeah, and i painted my nails...woohoo! (haha...i'm not *that* excited now...) so, i'll hopefully have more for you another day...i don't think i will be moving this blog afterall, even though i like the bene's of having on one's own server...we shall see... cya when i cya!! :)

2003-03-20T18:41:00.000-06:00

win the lottery? i wish!! hehe

no, the recent spending spree was not brought upon by any stroke of luck...unless you call getting your tax return lucky...b/c that was the ONLY reason we had any money to spare...sucks, doesn't it?

astrology...

this will be of absolutely no interest to anyone, i'm sure, but i checked my transits today on astro.com, and i found some answers to what's been going on, as well as some good news! so, i thought i'd share...you might be going through the same thing, afterall...(all of the following is copywrited by Astrodienst AG...just thought i'd let you know)

Uproar Valid during many months: A series of sudden and unexpected events will probably strain your nerves to the utmost, making this a difficult time. This is most likely to happen if you have spent the last few years trying to please everyone. Any turmoil in the outside world is merely an indication that you have been seething inside for quite some time. Although it would be understandable if you now felt like packing everything in, this is certainly not the best solution. You will find it hardest to tolerate hypocritical and sanctimonious behavior - whether your own or others'. It is therefore important to clear the air and to honestly consider which aspects of your life reflect your authentic inner nature. This influence will help you to scrutinize your ideals and visions, and to take your leave from those which are no longer relevant to any important decisions you have to make. For example, you might find that a political party or like- minded group of people of which you were once a member has lost its appeal. A clear decision to take all your imperfections seriously, and not to make lazy compromises, can be both healing and liberating, helping to give birth to new things in your life. Chiron Square Uranus activity period from 22 February 2003 to 22 December 2003.

Flights of fancy Valid during many months: This rather subtle influence particularly helps those who, whether in their private or public lives, are confronted with the physical or psychological suffering of others. This can at times allow profound insights into those metaphysical dimensions which usually remain closed to the conscious mind, and which indicate that all suffering is subject to certain principles. You are now less concerned with your daily achievements than with understanding the meaning behind them. If you are suffering in any way, wholistic remedies or forms of therapy are far more likely to help you than any treatment which merely tries to fight the symptoms. You may learn that someone you know has been greatly helped by homeopathic treatment, or that yoga has eased their back trouble. Help and relief are now likely to come in the form of subtle hints or things mentioned in passing - if you don't overhear them. This influence could make you feel more relaxed and confident, particularly if you have gone through a testing time recently. If you have to deal with situations which are both challenging and difficult you will now find it easier to take time out or withdraw. You could treat yourself to more short breaks, or spend more time in natural surroundings. You might also discover creative talents such as painting, writing or music which could help you to find new strength. You will now have better access to your world of inner images and imagination, and inner affirmation and dream journeys could lead to healing experiences. Neptune Sextile Chiron activity period from 9 March 2003 to 5 January 2005.

Extrasensory perception Valid during many months: This influence stimulates your imagination in a creative way, giving you greater inspiration and an immediate grasp of ideas that are usually too subtle for the intellect. And you are better able to communicate these subtle ideas to others and give people some understanding of what you are seeing now. This can be a very creative time if you are interested in art, music or poetry. If you have any latent psychic ability, this influence is quite capable of activating a kind of extrasensory perception within you. Certainly it increases the level of your sensitivity, and you are much more able to understand what others are trying to communicate to you. Previously these ideas have been too difficult to comprehend, requiring too much intuition and subconscious understanding. Now, however, you get an immediate idea of what they are feeling. With your imagination so aroused, the everyday world may not seem very interesting, and you may begin to dream of strange regions in your mind where you can escape. But if you tie yourself down to earth long enough, you will discover that the world of your normal life can be fascinating in its own right. This is such a great opportunity to understand aspects of the world that you could not usually comprehend; you shouldn't waste it by wandering into a private world that has no relevance to anything else. Because of your increased ability to communicate the spiritual or psychic experiences in your life, this is a good time to teach others what you have learned. At other times it may have been difficult to convey to people anything more than the outer shell of your experience. Now, because of the vividness of your imagination, you are able to make them feel your experiences. It may be useful to associate with other people who are having similar experiences so that as a group you can teach others what you know. Neptune Sextile Mercury activity period from 24 February 2003 to 23 December 2004.

i found the last one particularly interesting considering what i do...but in either case, i don't have much else to share today...i've been making "mock" orders on the website i get my jewelry findings from and have been trying to calculate exactly what i need and what i want...hehe...the two being very different aminals...;) anyway, hope everyone is a-ok...cya when i cya!

2003-03-19T07:36:00.000-06:00

i'm happier than a pig in sh*t! hahaha

so, would you like to know why?? sure you do!! hehe last night me and my darlin' went out sans kiddies! :) woohoo!! we went to Ruth's Chris Steakhouse and had a fabulous dinner courtesy of my darlin's boss (he gave us a giftcard)...i was highly impressed and so was my darlin'...so we have a new favourite restaurant! ;) (btw, the restaurant is VERY "Atkins-friendly"...the entire menu is a la carte, so you don't HAVE TO have any naughty stuff w/your meal if you don't want it! woohoo!) and then we went to Target...i bought:

a yoga mat
some small weights
a Pilates bodyball kit (that's the small ball, not the big ole balance ball thingy)
a pedometer (so i can keep track of my steps and get to a goal of 10K-a-day within a month)
clothes for my babygirl (got the boy clothes a short while ago)...two jean shorts, a yellow (onesie) shirt & a purple one...and a really pretty light blue outfit (pants and shirt)...she looks best in those colours...pink doesn't flatter her much, but then, she has my colouring, and it never flattered me much either...i really like her in blue! ;)
got a pair of capris for me and a french blue square collar shirt...gotta keep up w/my disappearing waistline, ya know? hehe
got six movies...older ones: Rob Roy, Point Break, the Matrix, Lock Stock & Two Smoking Barrels...newer ones: The Ring, Unfaithful...

and theeeeeen, we went to B&N...i got some really good books: The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz (b/c Heather's read it & indicated she found it very helpful); Communion with God by Neale Donald Walsch (same guy that wrote Conversations with God); Crafting as a Business by Wendy Rosen (an absolutely necessary resource guide for anyone wanting to do such a thing); and Creative Bead Jewelry by Carol Taylor (good for tips and ideas)... all in all, it was a fabulous night...we got home at 11pm & the kids had just gone to sleep (well, Jazmine had, Ian was out for awhile)...we were both still awake, so we watched "Lock Stock & Two Smoking Barrels" and then my darlin' passed out while my mind rattled on for some time...i'm not sure when i fell asleep, but it was definitely after 1am, i know that... anyway, time to feed the kiddies and all that jazz... oh! i also got my website set up with dreamhost...i'll be very busy in the coming month building it & reading all these great books...almost got a relaxation kit too (w/aromatherapy pillow and CD, woohoo!) but felt it was a little silly...maybe next time...hehe...cya when i cya!!

2003-03-18T13:58:00.000-06:00

well, i guess i wasn't missed, eh?

oh well, better for me i guess...now i can write all the stuff i wanted to write...hehe so, do we all remember my statement that i wished to write about my younger years, what i remember of them that is, and my mom pitched a cow b/c she thought i was just gonna bitch and moan about her? like she's the only person that hurt me...yeah, right!! anyway, i got to thinking...shortly after my grandfather (her father) died, my mom went through this period where she was writing out her whole life story, ya know? i mean she was filling up legal pads, typing on the word processor (it was a long time ago), etc....she went on and on about all the hurtful things that had happened to her...so, i don't think she has any right to bitch about what i may or may not write, nor does anyone have the right to bitch about whether i allow people to comment or not... in either case, i don't know whether i need to write all that stuff out or not...but i do know that if i am having problems w/something in my life, that i will delve into the root of the problem and most likely post it here (unless it's too personal to share w/you people), which may include rehashing childhood events... i do not have a memory like a great writer i know, and i can't quote quotes for the most part...but i remember feelings and emotions quite well...i have "blocked" most of my memories from the past, and i'm thinking it may be time to unlock some of them...maybe they might give me a clue on why i do certain things and how i can change them...i've always been able to identify most of my problems and the root cause of them...but changing them, solving the problem, has always been difficult... the biggest problem i have at the moment is depression...i get hit with it alot...i may feel great one day and shitty the next, for no apparent reason...i know that it is very possible that i have a chemical imbalance in my brain (especially when you consider that my mother did not 'completely' abstain from drinking, smoking or doing drugs (marijuana) while she was pregnant w/me [she 'cut back']...my father did the same, so that would have affected me as well...damned 70's!! heh)...so, i've been considering going to a doc about Zoloft to see if it might help...for the moment, i'd prefer to be able to solve the problem w/o drugs...so, i have a list of books i'm going to read in order to bring me to a "happier place"...i'll post the list if anyone is interested, and keep you updated as to my progress and whatnot... for the past few months, my personality has been changing somewhat...i do not know if this is permanent or not, but there have been complaints and i want to eliminate those...i have discovered a "power" that i, previously, was unaware of...and that is the power to stand up for yourself...it's been hard learning how and when to wield it however, so i am struggling...must be something to do w/my Pluto, eh? hehe...anyway...enough blabbering... much love to you all... oh, and you people from denmark that keep spamming my guestbook better cut it out...i haven't visited any of your websites, nor do i plan to...thanks, but no thanks...from the referrals i've been getting, they must be porn sites, and *that* is one thing i do not need...(nor do i need a bigger penis or bigger breasts, thanks! just in case you needed that information) ok, cya when i cya!!

2003-03-17T20:03:00.000-06:00

so, didya miss me?

well, i've been gone over a month, almost two...did any one miss me? ;) my hiatus was not voluntary, i assure you...but i won't bore you folks w/the details...suffice it to say that i am back! :)

in the news...

i am no longer working ("hard for the money!" sing Donna, sing!! hehe) in the outside world... my mother-in-laws surgery went well, she is on the road to recovery... i have discovered the joys of domesticity...i actually HAVE to make the bed everyday, otherwise i feel like a slob, and i actually vacuum the bedroom every week, and do the laundry twice a week...i even take out the trash everyday...i don't know what's wrong w/me, but no one is complaining...hehe the jewelry business is coming along, i will be purchasing a new digital camera soon and building a website for my work...i will also be placing most of my creations on auction at ebay.com so look for links in the future... the location of this weblog will probably change as well once i have a domain again...i will post that information as soon as i have it :) i have officially seen Lilo & Stitch 50 times...it's pretty cute and my boy and girl like it speaking of which, pics of the kids will come shortly...Ian is getting bigger each day, and so is my babygirl Jazmine...Jazmine will be nine months on March 3rd and Ian is 2 1/2 going on 3 (in July, both kids are July babies)...Jazmine's curls are straightening out some, but i think that has more to do w/the humidity down here than anything else and she definitely has her mama's eyes :) Ian is getting his clothes in the boy's dept already, so you know he's a big kid! if things work out w/the jewelry biz, i'm going to work at that at night and home school the kids (and keep house in between) by day...this way if the kiddies are capable of learning more earlier (like i was) i can teach them at that level and not let them get bored...as well as add things to their curriculum that they may find interesting that the school may not teach for a grade or two, ya know? i'm hoping to make them multi-lingual as well...:) that's about it for now...i'll be back w/more in the near future, i promise! hope everyone is ok! i'll cya when i cya!!

2003-01-28T20:47:00.000-06:00

hmmmmmmmm........

well, it seems as though i've been rather "combative" lately...raring for a fight, that is...even got all hot under the collar on an astrology bulletin board i frequent...today at work a co-worker pissed me off, and frankly, i don't wanna be there anymore... i wanna be home...making jewelry...giving people readings...helping them out... when my MIL has her surgery, i will HAVE to stay home...so, that's that! but at least i will still be able to make money... signed up w/a free webhost for now, and will have a tarot site back up soon...i am also working on the flea market thing...and hopefully, once i get some really good pieces made, i will be able to sell my jewelry (small stuff at flea market & big stuff on ebay...and maybe even consignment shops...we'll see...) so, there ya go...i will be able to make enough money to pay off all my debts, get stuff for my kiddies, and (crossing fingers) even have enough for a "getaway" w/my darlin'... not much else for news...lots of stuff i could say, but nothing i really WANT TO say...ya know? so, i shall cya when i cya!! :) take care, everybody!!

2003-01-24T20:53:00.000-06:00

MAKEUP!

i think this blog needs a facelift, some redecorating...and a name change ;) it's been awhile...i was changing it almost weekly for a bit, but got so sick of looking at code...i've probably forgotten all the stupid CSS i had to cram in my head...and i really don't wanna try doing it in dreamweaver, like i did last time...ugh! talk about a pain in the ass...any suggestions anyone?? i think it will be simple again...no more crazy backgrounds...

my babygirl

is cryin' up a storm...so i'm outta here for now...cya!!

update

just on for a quick minute...found some old emails earlier this evening that opened my eyes and have inspired me to work on expanding my mind...lots to think about and assimilate...the redesign will have to wait... in other news, my MIL is very sick...may have to quit the job-o to take care of the kiddos...which will suck ass...but maybe this will be the kick in the pants i need to start doing the tarot at the flea market...i did some rough estimates, and even if i just worked Fri-Sat-Sun, i could make upwards of $80K/yr+ (very conservative estimate, the high end was more like $116K/yr)...so, there ya go...add on to that selling crystals and jewelry and such, and whoa nellie! ;) even my darlin' could quit his job!! hehe... so, that's it for tonight....i'm pooped and in pain...so i go ni'nite now...cya!

2003-01-21T16:56:00.000-06:00

well...some good news for a change

i did a Tarot reading for a co-worker today...she says her mom and sister are always looking for someone to do readings for them (someone good that is! ;) hehe) and she was very happy w/her reading, so i think i may have some new customers! :-D woohoo! i will have to look over the list of readings i do and figure out what i need to charge again...my co-worker said i should definitely look into setting up a booth at a flea market or something...so we shall see... just thought i'd share! cya around!

2003-01-19T19:39:00.000-06:00

crickets

got quiet around here, didn't it? ;) i never did mind airing my dirty laundry...and don't misread my last post...i do love my mother...but i have found it impossible to discuss w/her (nicely) the things that have happened between us in the past...i try to explain how i felt/reacted, she gets defensive and fireworks go off...you see, we both have lots of Libra, so we both want to keep the peace (to a certain extent)...however, we also both have enough Cardinal signs to cause major blowups when we get pissed off...now, my whole life i've *tried* to be the good daughter and not fight with my mother (afterall, i *do* have that Libra moon and will do almost anything to avoid a fight)...i've tried real hard to respect her and her life...i've stayed out of a lot of shit, kept my mouth shut, whatever...but i'm sick of that shit...i'm fucking 30 years old already (soon to be 31), and the time for keeping my mouth shut has long since ended...in my opinion, both of my parents should never have had children, b/c they were both so absorbed in their own lives and what was going to fulfill them that they ignored the fact that their children (well, child for my dad, b/c he only had me) needed them...my dad fucked me up...my mom fucked me up...the only person, in my whole life, that has not ever let me down or hurt me in some way, is my grandmother (my mother's mother)...and i know i've let her down (which hurts ME to no end, lemme tell ya)...anyway, i just hope i don't fuck my kids up...they are beautiful, happy children, and they deserve a happy life, goddammit!! i was in denial for years over my father's tendency towards abandonment (understatement), and i was frickin' suicidal at 6 years old because i thought my mother didn't love me anymore...talk about fucked up! i will do everything within my power to let my children know that i love them and will always be there for them! ~this i promise, because it is important to me and to them~ if you ask my mother, she will say, "i clothed them, i fed them, i kept a roof over their heads, and look how they repay me!" (you know how many times i heard that shit?? jeez) and to that i sing, "oh Capricorn, oh Capricorn...you are so cold and frugal" (not to say all Caps are like that, b/c they aren't...but this is how HER Capricorn manifests itself) or reply, "but where you there when i cried? no, you told me "stop crying, or i will give you something to cry about!" were you there when i hurt? when i needed you to LOVE me, not shoo me away b/c i was "in the way"? were you there??" nope...i don't think so...ok, how about this, "were you there for me when i was so sick of being suicidal that i begged you to take me to a counselor for help?" (this was in my teenage years) uh...nope! your concern was, "we can't afford that!", not "holy shit, my daughter wants to kill herself!" and as for whatever mental breakdown she mentioned in her comments (when i wasn't there for her...oh no! <~sarcasm) i have no clue what the fuck she's talking about...if she was having one, i wasn't aware of it...was it all the pot, mom? did you get a bad batch?? god only knows...i am forever being accused of being a rotten daughter by this woman simply b/c i don't always do whatever the fuck she wants me to do...i didn't want to go across the fucking country to the desert (New Mexico, nothing wrong w/it, but it's not my bag baby...plus, i was in my 20's already...jeez), so it wasn't b/c i didn't want to go, it was b/c i "didn't care what happened to her" *rolls eyes* yeah, ok...that's why i saved up all my money working two jobs to get you away from Bert...no i didn't care...ugh! it's just sickening...i'm sick of it...and ya know, i'm GLAD i'm in Texas b/c otherwise she'd be so fucking pissy to deal with that i wouldn't be able to see my grandmother over all this shit...i could go on and on, but i'm done w/this shit...if she starts more, i will finish it b/c i'm DONE...and on that note, i wish you all a goodnight...;) cya when i cya!

2003-01-18T15:20:00.000-06:00

here's the latest...

my mother has decided to pick a fight w/me...this should be interesting...here is the latest exchange found in last post's comments...feel free to comment...

My dear daughter, let's not forget that I chose to be with your father, that I asked him to marry me, that I subconsciously sought his type of behaviour in my men - the same type of behaviour you are attracted to in the man in your life. How can you say that I did not influence you in your choices of men? If I was attracted to your father and you seek out men who are like your father - can you see the connection here? If I had chosen a more stable man to marry and have kids with, you would then be attracted to stable men, but I didn't choose a stable man ... I chose your father. mom | Email | 01.16.03 - 10:50 pm | # -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- yes, of course, you chose him, and his behaviour influenced me...but there is also the abusive asshole Paul to consider, the free-loading Omar (sorry, but that's how i see him), and we won't even count Bert 'cuz he was just an accident in my mind...why haven't i ever dated men who beat me? why haven't i ever dated deadbeats? yes, you picked dad, and by your choice you influenced my own choices, but i am happy w/david, he is not as bad as dad was...we both have our moments and frankly, i don't know why he stays w/me b/c i am a serious pain in the ass...but that is me, and he is david, not dad...as much as they are similar, they are also individuals...david is much more loving and affectionate than dad ever could be...and when it all comes down to it, he is his own person if anything, i think your choices led me to the thought-process that, "if it ain't working...get out!" i have dumped more men than i care to think about...and i think poor John (back in high school) paid for all the sins perpetrated by my father and the other jerks that hurt me... in either case, i'm glad my comment went through, i thought it hadn't... Lil | Email | 01.16.03 - 11:18 pm | # -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If you see Omar as a free=loader, at least he did more around the house to help me than both my children combined. With that being said, how do you judge yourself when most of the time you ate, slept and laid in bed? When I had a mental breakdown, where were you? Oh, yeah, visiting your girlfriend in NYC for the entire weekend. Omar helped me cook, he washed the dishes, he kept my room and the rest of the house neat and clean, and he made me feel loved and needed. That's more than both my kids did for me - combined. Thank you very much. mom | Email | 01.18.03 - 9:41 am | # -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- now we're getting rich...you wanna talk about "being there"??? ok, who sent me off to live w/my father b/c i was getting in the way of her "new family"??? were you there for me when i had cancer and was going through chemotherapy?? and you say i "ate, slept, and laid in bed"? maybe b/c i was working two fucking jobs, eh? maybe b/c i had no fucking money b/c even though you SAID we were going to make things fair w/how we split up money for bills and rent, i was paying you more than MY FAIR SHARE? yeah, he cooked, and cleaned (when he wanted to)and washed dishes, clothes, whatever...but before that both me and Paul had those tasks...i worked just as much as you, if not more, and you "laid" around just as much as i did...you always feel like you were the downtrodden one, don't you mom? "oh poor me" is always your battle cry...you love to martyr yourself b/c it makes you feel better about the shitty stuff you've done in your life...you want to know why your children weren't ALWAYS there for you? b/c you treated us like crap, that's why...we were second class citizens in your home b/c the person w/the dick got first placement...Paul's just too fucking scared to say shit, but he's long since been sick of your shit too...but then, according to YOU, he's just a freeloader anyway, right? and just cuz i know you'll throw it up, yeah, i may have left w/an outstanding bill, BUT IT WAS IN MY NAME and neither you nor Avo had to pay it...why isn't the bill in YOUR name? oh yeah, that's right...b/c you left NJ w/over $500 owed, right? start throwing stones, b/c i have a bat and i'm ready to use it...i am a grown woman w/children of my own and i DO NOT have to kow tow to you any longer to keep the peace...yeah, i never did anything to help you out, right? i didn't MOVE BACK IN W/YOU AND LOSE MY "FREEDOM" to save you from a psychotic asshole, right? i didn't pay my way and then some to help out w/the finances, right? fucking-A, mom...next christmas i'm getting you a giant fucking cross, so that the next time you feel unappreciated you can climb on up and nail yourself to it! Lil | Email | 01.18.03 - 3:15 pm | #

2003-01-16T20:13:00.000-06:00

pizza pie...

i know this must be a NJ thing...i know it...everytime i call to order pizza, i ask for a "pie" and the guy always says, "you wanna what??" *sigh* to those uninformed souls out there, pizza is often referred to as "pizza pie"...it is called a "pie" b/c it has a crust and (technically) filling...if i'm calling your establishment, and you serve pizza, and i ask for a "pie", i mean pizza...i swear, i always feel like responding with, "coconut custard, chocolate cream, apple...you know...pie!!" hehe...i don't think he would be amused... my son eats pizza the same way i did when i was a little kid (and the same way i eat it now, actually)...he peels off the cheese and pepperoni and eats that first...if he's still hungry (after going through 6 slices), he eats the crust...but only if he's reeeeeally hungry...my babyboy...i used to do the same thing...although, i would take the cheese off, scrape off the sauce (blech) and eat the gushy part of the bread too...now i just eat the cheese and toppings...mmmmmm...mozzarella...lol...and i like veggies on my pie too (pie...ha!)...green peppers, onions, mushrooms, black olives and pepperoni is my fave...i can't eat the sausage 'cuz it gives me heartburn something wicked!

more food related stuff...

i have developed a fondness for chipotle (i think that's how you spell it...i pronounce it like the white girl i am: chih-pot-lee...hehe)...even though i don't like spicy food, they often have chipotle flavoured chicken at the "cafe" (cafeteria at work)...and when i'm lucky they serve it w/black beans...i luuuuuuuurve black beans...though they make them weird (w/mexican spices), but they're still black beans and quite delicious! so, today they had chipotle chicken quesadillas w/sour cream and guacamole...mmmmmmm...i scraped all the good stuff off the tortillas, spread the guacamole and sour cream over it all and went to town!! deeeeelicious! i'm such a sucker for good food!!

in other news

work is still very busy...working 49 hrs this week alone! i had my first "review" the other day and found out i'm working at 126%!! much faster than they "need" or expected...i got lots of praise and no bad stuff at all, so i'm very happy!! i asked about going "permanent" but i'm still wary of going through w/it...i know the job would be more interesting if i were a "real" associate (more responsibility, more stuff to do)...but i'm worried that they wouldn't take me (for whatever reason)...i'm sure it would pay at least $3/hr better than i'm making now, and my team leader said it's "worth it" to apply...so, i'm thinking...the one thing that makes me hesitant is that i really want to be working for myself...yeah, the benefits are great, there's a fitness center there in our building, they have a 401(k) and all that good stuff...plus i know of one chick that works there that got major bonuses over the holidays...but it's a "9 to 5" that usually runs 8 to 5 (and lately 7 to 5!)...*sigh* i have a huge list of books i want to get about going into business for yourself and beadwork in general... anyway, so that's what's been going on...i hope my pizza gets here soon, 'cuz i'm starvin' ovah heah...lol...cya when i cya people! :)

2003-01-09T22:14:00.000-06:00

money on my mind

so, i have lots and lots of business ideas roaming around in my mind lately...chief among them is making specialty cakes (w/rolled fondant)...wedding type stuff...i think i would be very successful at that...i'm also starting a jewelry making business...i figure, worse comes to worst, i can always sell it off on ebay! :) anyway, that's what i'm working on these days...and that's why i'm so busy...take care everyone, i'll be back soon to update you all on my progress! cya when i cya!

2003-01-03T20:29:00.000-06:00

just so no one worries...i'm alive...just not gonna be around much anymore...i'll cya when i cya! :)

2002-12-28T18:35:00.000-06:00

it came and went...

well, the desire to write about my past came and went...i had it in my mind for days, and yet after i posted my intention all desire to write about it dissipated...*shrugs* oh well...doesn't really matter anyway...i seriously doubt anyone was looking forward to it! ;) hehe work is very busy now, i'm working lots of OT, so don't be surprised if i get lazy and don't visit for a few days...i'll cya when i cya!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2002-12-25T18:01:00.000-06:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

(and if you don't celebrate it...i wish you all the best)

and now, a word from our sponsors...

well, the "sweets exchange" thing at work was a bust...some biatch said something rude to me and i spent the majority of the time in the ladies room cryin'...what a sad sack i am, eh? of course, it was also the full moon, so there ya go... anyway, not much has been going on...been working alot...we were able to spend a little money on the kids this year, and christmas (for them) was helped along by the T'R'U gift cards my gramma sent...the boy got lots of trucks and a football from various other relatives...we got him 2 more stuffed doggies (a beagle & a rottweiler) and a Spiderman pillow...he LOVES Spiderman (along w/Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, and Scorpion King)...and for the girl, we got her a little fishie teething ring (she chews on anything she can get her little hands on) and the Aquarium Bouncer by Fisher-Price (vibrates, has little lights, fishies that swirl, and plays music/ocean waves/rain sounds, etc.) which she has fallen asleep in about four times since we put it together yesterday...anyway, i was happy that we were able to buy the kids stuff... so, i've been doing alot of thinking about who i am as a person, what has made me this way and such...also thinking about the person i want to be, and this ain't it...and so, with that in mind, i am undertaking a new endeavour...in order to work out a lot of old issues that need to be put to rest, i will be writing about my early life...this will most likely be depressing for alot of you, so if you would like me to email you when it is over, i will gladly do so...i need to recall events as i saw them, i believe this will give me greater clarity in my life...i would like to preface what i write with this disclaimer, however... this will be MY version of events, not anyone else's...there are three sides to every story...my side, your side & what really happened...my tales are not meant to be an "attack" on anyone, rather i am getting things off my chest that NEED to be released...for the betterment of myself and my relationship w/my family... anyway, i will most likely disable comments once i start, so don't be surprised if they disappear one day... well, that's all for now...be good and love one another...cya!

2002-12-18T23:35:00.000-06:00

chocolate? did somebody say chocolate??

well, instead of having a "gift exchange" at work, we are having a "sweets exchange" (originally called a cookie exchange, but some of us are bringing stuff other than cookies)...i have made "brigadeiros" (mom, i'm guessing on the spelling...), which are little chocolate candies similar to chocolate caramels, but softer...they came out pretty good too! i rolled them in cocoa powder (sweetened w/Splenda, natch!) and they look faboo!! i'm gonna make more w/different flavours (thought of making coconut ones w/coconut flavouring, rolled in shredded coconut...mmmm) for everyone here at the house to enjoy...everyone who tries them, loves them, so i think they will be a hit...i just hope i made enough!! ;) p.s. did you know cocoa powder is very low-carb? ;) hehe

anyway....

whenever i say i won't write, i write tons...so, i'll cya when i cya...be good...love each other...and may there be peace on earth...bless you all (whomever you believe in...and if you don't believe, then my best wishes for you) byyyyyyeeeeeeeee.....:-D

2002-12-17T22:47:00.000-06:00

i've got the blues...or is it the purples?

well, like people say, you have to be thankful for the little things, eh? so here goes: (yes, yet another excuse to use bullets...hehe)

i'm totally in love w/the most wonderful man in the world, and he loves me just as much, if not more
i have two beautiful, healthy children
i have a job...a roof over my head...clothes on my back...and food on the table (heh, sound familiar Mom?)
i know a bunch of really cool people (it just sucks that they are all online...)
i am alive

there ya go...due to the stomach virus i contracted, i have had the "purple burps" all day...blech! c'est la vie! got my paycheck today! (woohoo!) though i didn't get it until tonight, i'll be able to cash it tomorrow...maybe we'll actually have enough $$$ to buy christmas presents this year! woohoo! heh...yeah, no presents have been bought as of yet...scary, isn't it? ;) i'm in a weird mood...i'm signing off for now...if ya don't see me in a few days (weeks?), don't worry, i'm fine...much love to you all...cya!

2002-12-14T20:05:00.000-06:00

sick...

i'm sick as a dog today...went to work and by the time i left, i had yakked 4 times, had horrendous abdominal cramps, and basically just felt shitty...i'm getting better though, slowly but surely...

NJ...

i don't really miss NJ as much as i thought i would...i miss my family, i miss the places i could go, the things i could see (i read too many kiddie books, sue me! lol)...but i don't miss the traffic, the crowdedness, the noise, the astronomical car insurance rates, the even more astronomical rent...you can keep all that & just send me to the Met or to the Natural History Museum...or Mamoun's for falafels (oy...i had to think of that, now i'm queasy again...)...or my Mom's & my Avo's (Gramma) hugs and kisses...even my brother, hehe...(kiddin'...of course i miss my little bro...) anyway, i'm settling in down here in TX and unless something odd happens, i doubt i'll be leaving anytime soon (even though i have no Cancer in my chart, i have some very big Cancerian traits, chief among them is, i gotta have a home!!)...anyway, hope you like my little story...i know Hugh did! {{{{major hugs}}}} here ya go!

girl, what's wrong wit'you?

here is my little story, take it for what it's worth...i know it will be misinterpretted by most, if not all of you...so, whatevah... actually, this is more like some bizarre confession, rather than a story...but again, whatevah...

those of you who know me know that i have very strong emotions...i FEEL EVERYTHING to the nth degree...(moon-pluto thing)...i am also quite sensitive to the moods/feelings/emotions of others, and often "know" things about people that they don't know i know (meaning, i sense it, but it's weird stuff that you wouldn't just pick up on...) anyway, because of my strong emotions, i find myself infatuated w/things, people, places, etc....the hardest one to deal w/is people b/c, as some of you may know, when you are infatuated you think you are 'in love'...now, i've gone through this often enough to know when i am 'in love' and when it is infatuation...for the most part, it is almost always infatuation...i have not truly fallen 'in love' w/anyone since my darlin' and i suspect that i never will...i am, afterall, a 'one-man-kinda-gal' and very, very monogamous...but this does not stop me from becoming infatuated w/people, or (as i like to call it) the idea of a person...i am very sociable and happen to like people alot (libra moon), and when i find people i truly like, i tend to latch onto them (w/them trying to pry me off, i can assure you! lol)...i am that girl at a party who knows maybe one or two people and will hover around the people she knows just so she can be sure to have someone to talk to...i also get flustered very easily and blush at the drop of a hat...when i talk to someone 'new', i always blush...i swear, most people, upon meeting me, must think i'm an idiot! heh...anyway, on to the point of my story...i don't know why, but lately i seem to be drawn to/attracting gay men...it's like Will & Grace, but more surreal! first and foremost, there is Hugh (of Standing Room Only...link to the right)...he is a sweetheart, and i love him with all my heart...he is always supersweet to me (even though i *am a breeder! ;) kiddin' hon) and he always manages to make me laugh...if there is any blog out there that i endeavour to read daily and comment faithfully on, it is his...second is one of the 'facilitators' at AF...i don't know what it was about that man, and i probably never will know, but he had something about him that made me 'lock on target'...LOL...and the strangest thing is that he seemed to 'lock on' to me too...when he was teaching, he would stand close to where i was (i was towards the back of the room to the left...) and if he was walking around the room, he would make eye contact w/me 90% of the time...when he was asking questions it was as though he was listening in for my answers, b/c even though 3-4 of us would volunteer an answer, he would repeat mine verbatim each time...talk about weird! (and yes, i'm positive he's gay...) but the thing that really got to me was that i could feel the energy exchange w/him, and unless i'm tuned in to someone, i almost never feel someone else's energy...it was just odd...third is just the fact that there are too many good looking gay men in the world, and it's just terribly unfair (unless you are another gay man...hehe)...anyway, i guess what makes this remarkable to me is that i've never really known many (and i'm not saying i know many now, either) gay MEN...i've known lots of gay women (God help me, but they seem to love me...and it doesn't help that i have a *thing for breasts...must be b/c i was a formula baby or somethin'...:-P~)...i've even hooked up women friends of mine! but most of the men i've known were trying to get in my pants...i don't know...i just don't know why i am so attracted to gay men lately...it's not that i seek them out, but i do find their company (even if it is just through email) more pleasant and pleasurable than others...i guess since *i'm no longer looking for a dick, i'm satisfying my need for male companionship in a totally different way, eh? i don't know...but this is my story...and i'm stickin' to it! :) cya!!

2002-12-13T22:29:00.000-06:00

music on the brain...

well, i gotta work a full day tomorrow, and i'm not really looking forward to it...8 hrs tomorrow will give me 5 hrs OT in the paycheck though...it's really 9 hrs there, though, b/c they give you an hr lunch unpaid...bah! anyway, the reason i got music on the brain is that on Saturdays we are allowed to bring in CD's and listen to them on headphones...so, i'm debating which songs to burn on to a CD or two to keep me occupied, and yet also NOT make me start singing in my little cubicle...hehe...i love to sing, so i gotta pick techno stuff so i can just look doofy bouncing in my seat or bopping my head to the beat :-P~ i've been using some cool new age-y tunes to put Jazmine to sleep at night...she's been very fussy lately...so, i've been breaking out the Andreas Vollenweider & Kitaro :) i'm not using Enya yet, but i figure i might have to eventually...she likes it though...my babygirl... ok, i'm done for the night, people...i'm frickin' tyahd ovah heah (that's 'tired over here' for non-NJ/NY people) much love...cya!

2002-12-10T20:15:00.000-06:00

hmmm....

well, i wasn't beating myself up about it (the money thing), i was just trying to gain some understanding...and after posting last night, i discussed the issue w/my darlin', and you're right again, Mom...it definitely stems from growing up w/not a whole lot of money to go around, so i feel guilty spending any money that *i didn't earn myself...it's partly a self-esteem issue as well since i don't feel that i am "worth it"...but with that said, i did get my hair cut today, and it looks tres faboo! i will endeavour to get a photo up asap (will be difficult since my bestest friend Heather is in Cali, along w/her digicam! and my webcam is not getting set up again anytime soon...i figure i can always take regular pics [eeks!] and get them put on a CD when i get them developed, eh? hehe)...i don't miss the long hair, but now i must go out and get a few items to help w/styling the shorter hair...it is just slightly past my shoulders w/what looks like extra long bangs in the front (if you want an idea of the style, check out Michelle Pfeiffer's hair in "I Am Sam"...this is not to imply that i look anything like her, but my hairstyle does!)...the stylist looked at me like i was nuts as i was describing what i wanted, but she agreed it would look good, and so far everyone loves it, including me...which is shocking b/c i generally hate my hair and every haircut i've ever gotten...heh...and the best part? it doesn't make me look older!! woohoo! (as short hair normally does, but then, most people wouldn't consider this short...) jeez, i sure can blabber on, can't i? anyway, my darlin' is out at band practice, so i am "home alone" w/the kiddies...we replaced our copy of "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?" (i LOVE this movie), along w/a few other movies we had to sell when times got a little tight...i have a tendency to like really weird movies, just so ya know...my taste in music is odd too, i guess...i like just about everything except country...and i do mean "just about EVERYTHING" lol... in other news, work is fine, SSDD really, just like any other job...i'm looking into a few other places around that are paying a little better...so, we shall see... i really need my own car, i miss that soooo much...i would hardly ever be home if i did have my own vehicle though...i'd take the kiddies to the park and the zoo and the botanical gardens they have down here...this is very much a tourist-y type city...but i guess that's to be expected when you have your own basketball team and a Six Flags park and a Sea World, eh? hehe...i wanna go to Sea World too...it's been years since i went to the one in FL (as in, at least 15 yrs!)...we'll have to look into discounts for Disney World too, pretty soon the kiddies will be old enough to go...i don't remember the first time i went, but i remember going every summer up until i was about 12 or so...i went a few more times after that, but mostly to Epcot...aaaaaaanyway, things to look into...

to "SIR" with love...

since alot of you seem to be showcasing some of the blogs you read, here's my list...(or, just another excuse to make bullets!)

this is in no particular order, just so no one gets offended...

Heather ~ my bestest friend, and deserter (kidding!) who left me all alone here in SA...go give her props and encouragement on starting "Body-for-Life"!! i love & miss you!!!!!!!!!!!
VeryModern aka Elsa ~ Elsa is just the coolest person and i love her, truly...i even dedicated a blog to her awhile back, b/c she has been such an inspiration to me..."Carbs are for Pussies!!" LMAO!
Standing Room Only by Hugh Elliott ~ Hugh is a doll and a riot rolled up into one! He's funny, witty, articulate and artistic! Whatta man! ;) Luv ya! (and before you start waggin' those tongues, he's gay and would sooner screw a tree than me, ok? sheesh!!)
8-bit Joystick.com ~ this is a collaborative blog, but Jake writes the most...he's a funny guy w/a penchant for curry, Japan and (duh!) videogames! (hehe)...
My Mom! ~ yep, that's right...my mom has her own blog, and (gasp!) she even reads mine!! hehe...i know some of you out there shudder at the thought of your mom (or dad) reading your blog, but i've never really kept any secrets from my mom, and we've always had a very open relationship where we could discuss anything and everything (right, mom? ;) hehe)...she's the "cool" mom that all your friends always wanted to be THEIR mom...heh...and of course, now that i am a mother myself, i have a greater appreciation of her...anyway, my mother is a great writer who writes from the heart and tells it like it is...ya gotta love that...

there are more people that i read often, but these are the ones i read everyday (or at least try to!!)...enjoy! and much love to you all...cya when i cya!

2002-12-09T20:55:00.000-06:00

i'm not MIA! i swear!

sorry i haven't written in awhile...it's been terribly busy and hectic and i just don't have the time that i'm used to for writing...i'm *trying to get around to everyone's blogs...i will catch up eventually, i swear...much love to you all and bless each and every one of you...if i don't write much until the new year, don't be too surprised...

no meme's today or anything...this is just me blabbering... i don't know why i have such stupid issues w/money...i like having it as much as the next person, but i stress over the stupidest things regarding it...i see the money i earn as "our money" but the money my darlin' brings home i see as "his" (i know, it's usually the reverse, isn't it?)...i have problems spending his money and only feel comfortable spending money if i have earned it myself...for instance, my paycheck usually arrives in the mail on saturday...well, this week they waited to get my saturday hrs and it didn't get cut until today...meaning i probably won't get it til wednesday...now, i have an appointment tomorrow to get my hair cut (it's down to my waist & needs about 6-7 inches chopped off)...my darlin' got paid but i feel bad getting my hair cut tomorrow b/c i will have to pay for it w/"his" money...i don't like that...and it's not as though he has a problem w/it...the haircut only costs $40, but he gave me $100 to spend...i didn't ask for it...he likes spending money on me...but i hate it...why? why am i like this??? it's insane, i know, and i don't know how to keep from acting like a brat, trying to cancel my appt. b/c i didn't get paid yet...can anyone explain to me why i am so crazy?

my boy is now 3 feet tall & 37 lbs.!! i can't believe it...my baby girl is getting huge as well, she has another dr.s appt. in jan... well, that's it for now...bye

2002-12-03T22:31:00.000-06:00

weight loss news

ok, so i checked, and i've officially lost a total of 94 lbs. (including pregnancy weight)...49 lbs. on Atkins...and i do believe my mom is correct in her assessment of my current plateau...i was this particular weight for many years, and it's gonna take a sledgehammer to bust through this "wall", but i'm gonna do it...now is the time to "just do it" ;) no more excuses, no whining about being in pain...i must move my butt! LOL...much love to all of my readers...i missed you guys...cya! p.s. just noticed the number harmony...94...49...:-) it's been said that "God speaks to us in numbers"..."while the soul slumbers" (and can anyone explain to me why i make the same typo everytime i type "soul"? i always put a 'd' at the end...it's weird...) ok...i love you...bye bye

2002-12-03T20:54:00.000-06:00

i'm back and i'm tired...lol

well, we're back up! woohoo! things are going well so far, don't have much to tell...work is sucky b/c we keep "running out of work to process"...they're supposed to be training us soon on new stuff, which will give us more to do! hehe...i'm getting my hair cut next week (not sure of the moon's phase, but i'm not worried)...i'll be back w/more tomorrow...right now i'm just "checking in" and making sure everyone behaved while i was gone...;) cya! and i shall leave you w/this (my score was 33)

Dr. Phil gave this test on Oprah she got a 38. Some folks pay a lot of money to find this stuff out. Don't peek but begin the test as you scroll down and answer. Answers are for who you are now not who you were in the past. This is a real test given by the Human Relations Dept. at many of the major corporations today. It helps them get better insight concerning their employees and prospective employees. It's only 10 simple questions, so grab a pencil and paper, keeping track of your letter answers. Ready?? Begin...

1. When do you feel your best? a) in the morning b) during the afternoon and early evening c) late at night 2. You usually walk... a) fairly fast, with long steps b) fairly fast, with little steps c) less fast head up, looking the world in the face d) less fast, head down e) very slowly 3. When talking to people you... a) stand with your arms folded b) have your hands clasped c) have one or both your hands on your hips d) touch or push the person to whom you are talking e) play with your ear, touch your chin, or smooth your hair 4. When relaxing, you sit with... a) your knees bent with your legs neatly side by side b) your legs crossed c) your legs stretched out or straight d) one leg curled under you 5. When something really amuses you, you react with... a) a big, appreciative laugh b) a laugh, but not a loud one c) a quiet chuckle d) a sheepish smile 6. When you go to a party or social gathering you... a) make a loud entrance so everyone notices you b) make a quiet entrance, looking around for someone you know c) make the quietest entrance, trying to stay unnoticed 7. You're working very hard, concentrating hard, and you're interrupted, do you... a) welcome the break b) feel extremely irritated c) vary between these two extremes 8. Which of the following colors do you like most? a) Red or orange b) black c) yellow or light blue d) green e) dark blue or purple f) white g) brown or gray 9. When you are in bed at night, in those last few moments before going to sleep, you lie... a) stretched out on your back b) stretched out face down on your stomach c) on your side, slightly curled d) with your head on one arm e) with your head under the covers 10. You often dream that you are... a) falling b) fighting or struggling c) searching for something or somebody d) flying or floating e) you usually have dreamless sleep f) your dreams are always pleasant

POINTS: 1. (a) 2 (b) 4 (c) 6 2. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 7 (d) 2 (e) 1 3. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 5 (d) 7 (e) 6 4. (a) 4 (b) 6 (c) 2 (d) 1 5. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 2 6. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 2 7. (a) 6 (b) 2 (c) 4 8. (a) 6 (b) 7 (c) 5 (d) 4 (e) 3 (f) 2 (g) 1 9. (a) 7 (b) 6 (c) 4 (d) 2 (e) 1 10. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 6 (f) 1 Now add up the total number of points. OVER 60 POINTS: Others see you as someone they should "handle with care". You're seen as vain, self-centered,and who is extremely dominant. Others may admire you wishing they could be more like you, but don't always trust you, hesitating to become too deeply involved with you. 51 TO 60 POINTS: Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality; a natural leader, who's quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones. They see you as bold and adventuresome, someone who will try anything once; someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement you radiate. 41 TO 50 POINTS: Others see you as fresh, lively, charming,amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head.They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out. 31 TO 40 POINTS: Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful & practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest. Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make, and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over it if that trust is ever broken. 21 TO 30 POINTS: Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It would really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment, expecting you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then, usually decide against it. They think this reaction is caused partly by your careful nature. UNDER 21 POINTS: People think you are shy, nervous, and indecisive,someone who needs looking after, who always wants someone else to make the decisions & who doesn't want to get involved with anyone or anything. They see you as a worrier who always sees problems that don't exist. Some people think you're boring. Only those who know you well know that you aren't.

2002-11-22T21:23:00.000-06:00

all of me...why not take all of me?

okey dokey...here's the 411...we're moving in w/the in-laws this weekend, so i won't be around much (if at all)...gonna have some 'puter down time, so if you hear from me in a week, be surprised...(mom, i'll send you the address asap!) we are hoping to save up enough $$$ to get our own place by January...cross your fingers and wish us luck! ;) if you send me an email, and i don't respond right away (hehe) don't freak out...i'm ok! just busy!! work should be picking up soon, and between that and the kiddies, i'm tired!! lol i can't think of anything else...oh yeah, if you noticed my SIR list got shorter, you're not seeing things...had to weed out people i don't read regularly (despite being added to my blogroll)...there are too many funny/interesting/intelligent people out there, and i wish i could read 'em all, but just don't have the time...so, there ya go... ok, i'm goin' ta bed...cya when i cya!! {{{hugs}}} to those i love (you know who you are!) and hope to be back soon!!

2002-11-19T22:38:00.000-06:00

better late than never, eh? hehe

This-or-That: November 19, 2002

Potpourri, Part Two! 1. Long or short hair? preferably long...for myself that is...i look older w/short hair, and who the hell wants to look older??? hehe on men? preferably short, but my darlin' looks best w/his long wavy hair (num!) 2. Microwave or conventional oven? i use the micro more often...sad, isn't it? 3. Plain or Peanut M&M's? i do not eat them (anymore) sam i am...but when i'm craving them i like the Peanut ones better 4. "101 Dalmations"...animated or live-action version? animated...Glenn Close creeps me out...*shudders* 5. Drink out of bottle/can or pour into a glass? usually out of a glass b/c i like my drinks reeeeeeally cold (w/lots of ice)...though lately i've been drinking my soda from a can...don't ask why... 6. Sunlight or moonlight? heh...makes me think of van morrison...Moonlight all the way baby! i hate the sun (if you saw my skin colour, you'd know i'm not kidding!! i put vampires to shame!), though sunrises/sets are lovely...but only then... 7. Kermit the Frog or Miss Piggy? toughie...i love the way Miss Piggy gives that karate chop! but Kermie is just so lovable!! gotta go w/the green one! 8. Glasses or contact lenses (or neither)? neither...hate me now 'cuz i have 20/10 vision...:-P 9. Action movies or chick flicks? action...sure, i like chick flicks...i've seen Sleepless in Seattle over 100 times! (seriously!) but gimme Die Hard anyday! woohoo! (though, honestly i like indie films best!!) 10. Toilet seat...up or down ? down? what was that, a trick question?? ;-) hehe

2002-11-19T20:42:00.000-06:00

rats'n'cats

the above phrase is something i tend to say, all as one word, when i'm annoyed and in company where it's not "nice" to curse...the more "swear-worthy" version of that is when i say "fucknuckle"...i know...i'm strange... so, anyway, i have a bastard of a headache...i'm trying to deal w/it nicely by annihilating it w/Excedrin...grrrr... today was "ok"...we had a new "facilitator" (trainer) today who was boring as hell and somewhat annoying in that she took forever and a day to teach us stuff, reviewing crap we learned the first day for no apparent reason, aaaaaaand basically just pissing me off...i hate that we had a new facilitator yesterday too, who finished up today...no one seemed to like him very much for some reason...i thought he was fine, although a little "odd"...there was something there, but i couldn't put my finger on it, ya know? besides the fact that he looked like a cross between Martin Short & the guy who plays "Stewart" on MadTV...;-) and yes, i am most definitely on the "dean's list"...no mistakes, no problems, and i'm probably one of the fastest processors in our group...our original group of 16 is down to 10 people, so i'm assuming that AF is starting to "weed out" anyone w/problems... had the most fabulous BBQ tonight!! now, mind you, i hate most of the BBQ places down here b/c they seem to all refuse to flavour their meat(s) (aside from the smoke flavour, of course)...but this was "top drawer" baby! we got brisket and it was divine! the smoked turkey was a little too peppery for my taste, but still quite tasty and very moist!! it was from a place called Rudy's (down the way from the new job) and man, oh man! it was delicious!! i'm definitely gonna hafta get a coworker to go w/me for lunch there (no transportation of my own, ya know)...mmm...mmm...good! hehe i think that's it for now...oh! almost forgot... Mom, no it's not what you think w/the neck thing (and i know what you're thinking...that's not it...but close...in a way! hehe), and the IL's (especially my MIL) do not like "house pets"...they think aminals (sic) belong outside only...if i get a cat, it's gonna hafta be an indoor cat down here, b/c there are just too many critters about, and from what i've seen of the "outdoor" cats down here they are all diseased! *shudders* so, i'm sure there will be compromises...found some really nice homes for rent up in the Northcentral & NW parts of town (3 br-2 bth-2 car gar. houses for less than $900/mo.!!! woohoo!!!), so we shall see... ok, i'm outta here people...and YES, it does feel great that i've lost enough weight to require some new clothes!! i've gone from a 28 to a 22 now, and i'm quite happy w/the progress...i have to start exercising though, b/c i've definitely plateau'd...*sigh* when i have time! lol...take care everybody!! cya when i cya!!

2002-11-17T19:17:00.000-06:00

oddities...

my darlin' wants to make a pay porn site...i am not only not surprised, i am amused...hehe
i have figured out how i keep straining my neck, and no, you don't wanna know! ;)
got the sunday paper today for the first time in months...i had forgotten how much i love the funnies
i miss reading books...i am definitely gonna hafta get a library card or something...soon!
i keep hearing the song "blue skies" in my head (ya know, the one Robin Williams sings in Patch Adams)...don't know why
i love bullets
i want a cat badly...*sniff* *sniff*
i'm still aching to learn how to work w/glass...i'm hoping the desire stays w/me, i think it would be a good creative outlet
we're still looking to move, though it may not happen now for a few months (sometime after Jan., i think (hope!!) hehe) gonna try to find a nice home in the "medical center" area
i need more business clothes, and ones that fit! all of my stuff is too big now! :-D
i can't think of anything else, so cya!!

2002-11-16T12:24:00.000-06:00

drama...

we are leaving...moving in w/the in-laws...i'll save you from the drama and just leave it at that... i don't know if we'll be "connected" over there...so if you don't hear from me all next week, you will know why... hopefully we'll be able to hook everything up in no time, but you never know... at least we'll save money on gas...*sigh* what a life...cya when i cya!

UPDATE

well, the above may not happen afterall...we shall see...got my first paycheck today, btw! woohoo!! got more than i expected too, but that's cuz i keep forgetting that there's no state tax here in texas...got used to that in jersey...so, they just take out SS & unemployment stuff...not too shabby! ;-) ok, time to go eat something...cya!! and wish us luck, ok? i really hate moving, and don't wanna do it if i don't hafta...it fucking sucks ass...

2002-11-15T22:01:00.000-06:00

TGIF!! woohoo!

well, i have completed one week at AF...it's been fun so far...verrrrrrry easy...i find i get too frustrated w/slower people, i would not make a good teacher whatsoever... i am still "teacher's pet" (hehe) and even the girl who called me "cocky" said today that i seem to have caught on faster than everyone else...i explain, this is due to my background in banking...i have experience playing w/numbers, pushing people's money around... and the system is sooooo easy...i honestly believe that a monkey could do this job...i am hoping they teach us more soon, b/c i am already getting bored w/it...it's "too easy", not enough challenge...i'm not giving up or anything, mind you...i just like more of a challenge...i enjoy flexing my mental muscles by learning... i wish i could just learn for a living...hehe...i'd go to college for the rest of my life if i thought: a) that i could afford it; b) that i could actually take the courses i wanted, not the "required" bullshit if i didn't want... you don't know how disappointed i was to find out that college is merely glorified high school..."you mean, i hafta take history even though it has nothing to do w/what i want to be doing w/the rest of my life?" fuck me! no way...i'm glad i didn't go, i would have hated it and flunked out...the only way i could have enjoyed it is if i had gone for an engineering degree at a technical college...(which i was gonna do at some point! lol) then maybe i would have liked college...eh, anyway... i know, i know, i still have a million blogs to get to...i read them, honest! i just don't always have time to comment... i have a shitload of "catch up" housework to do tomorrow, so i don't even know if i'll be able to get online much then...we shall see...maybe once i get the major stuff done, i'll be able to get on and comment and such...it's so hard!! LOL...i can at least try while i only have laundry going...:) i'm tired, but awake...it could be due to the caffeine i've ingested today...i know i mentioned they have free coffee, well they also have tons of different teas...so, not only did i have two cups of coffee today, i also had a cup of earl grey tea, and then two cans of coke (diet, natch)...mmmmm...caffeine...hehe i'm hoping i don't go through caffeine withdrawal tomorrow...i'll hafta drink lots of coke to make up for it, eh? ;) what else? problems w/kiddie care already, but i'm hoping it resolves itself quickly, b/c we cannot afford to have my ass at home right now...*sigh* doesn't that just suck? i think it sucks...my poor son has been sick all week, and i know it's b/c i'm not there to take care of him...not that his gramma doesn't do a good job, b/c she does...but she's not his mama...the girl has been pretty good though... and of course, my darlin's still sick...(but not as bad) well, i'm gonna check my email and then get off of this thing...cya!!

2002-11-13T20:40:00.000-06:00

ego alert!! TEACHER'S PET ego alert!!

LOL...i know, i'm a nut, but ^^^ that's the best way to explain my day today... so, i am unofficially the teacher's pet...our trainer had me walk around and help out my fellow classmates today since i finished before everyone else (sound familiar, Mom? hehe)...sheesh...i was (only slightly) embarrassed by it all...felt weird telling people how to do stuff that i just learned, but the job is sooooooo easy...i don't understand how anyone could have a problem w/it... i may be made to eat those words however...b/c the trainer said that things will be accelerating soon and will get more complicated & whatnot...i chuckled and said, "i'll believe it when i see it"...the chick next to me (whom i don't especially like, no specific reason, i just know we wouldn't get along...i'm betting she is another Aries or Aries rising...i never get along w/other Aries chicks) pipes up, "well, that's a cocky statement"...hehe...she called me cocky!! *giggles* i said, "well, it probably is, but everything so far has been so easy..." i then added, "over confidence is probably one of my biggest downfalls, but it hasn't let me down yet" *insert "cocky" laugh here* i'm so bad...but i don't care...the job is easy, and i can't help it if i learn fast...even the trainer said he was surprised at how fast i was picking everything up...so, she can "kiss it"...:-P (bad ego! bad!! ;-) hehe)

i'm tired...

well, i'm tired...my darlin' and my boy have been sick the past few days...so, i've been trying to take care of both as much as i can...the kids are doing ok...i think they like spending time w/"gramma" and will have more fun once "pop-o" is back (he's on a road trip w/friends of the family)... i wanted to tell you guys something else, but i can't seem to remember it...i'm sorry i haven't gotten around to commenting on everyone's blogs yet...i've been too tired to do much on the comp the past few days...rest assured that i miss everyone and will try to catch up as soon as possible...{{{hugs}}} cya!!

2002-11-12T22:26:00.000-06:00

and the beat goes on...

well, the second day of training went well...for the most part it's a lot of stuff i already know about (mutual funds, IRA's, stuff like that), so it's easy...basically all we will be doing is taking the money the shareholders send in and allocating it the way they want...the company says they are going to be really busy up until the end of tax season, so this is why all the temps have been hired...there will only be a handful of permanent positions available at the end of the assignment... the job is alllll the way out by Sea World here in SA...i've never been to this area, so it's all new to me...it's really "the sticks" though...hehe i'm not used to getting up early anymore, but it's not so bad...i've been able to drag my butt outta bed by 6:30am everyday, and it's certainly easier than in my bakery days (had to get up at 4:30am then! yikes!!)...i can't stop yawning all morning though, so i'm gonna hafta work on that... the building we are in is frickin' huge!! over 400,000 sq. ft. and very aesthetically pleasing, i must say...there are alot of courtyards for people to enjoy...a really nice one w/a fountain by the "cafe" (cafeteria)...the cafe is huge too (free coffee, woohoo!! LOL), and they seem to have every kind of food known to man there...(yeah, you know me, can't help but talk about the food) in either case, it's very nice... i could see how people would really want to work here...the company is top notch, and it would be a great permanent job...we'll see how everything goes...if i like it enough i'll apply for a permanent position...i've been told that if you apply for a permanent position & you don't get it, that not only do you not get the job, your assignment is also ended at that point! so, unless i think i'm REALLY gonna get it, i doubt i'd go for it...we shall see... my brain is fried, i can't think of anything else to tell you guys...for the 7 people out there reading me, thanks for the congrats and stuff :) i appreciate it...i hate job hunting, but when i set my mind on it, i usually get a job quickly...and like i said, so long as i can get the interview, i can get the job...hehe well, good night everybody...gotta get up early, and i'm yawning already...cya!!

one last thing...

while offline (and w/more free time) i discovered how to make picture frames and picture tubes...lots of fun! and very cool stuff...i think i've made over 15 picture frames now!! LOL...if i can find a place to host the images (they are too big for the free host i use) i'll post them! ok, g'nite!!

2002-11-11T21:40:00.000-06:00

AOL was holding me hostage...

major problems w/our internet connection...we just got back up tonight, so forgive me for not updating sooner...

newsflash...job at 11!

so, i went to wholefoods, the manager was crazy (i mean a real loon! seriously!)...i chose not to pursue the job...got an email on thurs. from an employment agency...went to see them on friday, got tested (word, excel, 10-key, etc.), interviewed...interviewed again later that day w/company wanting to hire me...started job today w/said company...i'm only making $9/hr, but i can live w/that...it's a long term temp position (6 months) w/a big mutual fund company...and i do mean big...so far so good...there may be permanent positions available at the end of the assignment, so we shall see...it's all the way out in bumblefuck texas (Heather, it's on Wiseman, out by where Randy works...) but it's a job, and the money helps...hopefully we'll be able to save up alot and i can start working the tarot thing more...in either case, i am now a part of the work force...woohoo! lol... no time now, i'll write more another day...cya! p.s. Heather, the tater tots are being watched by my Mil...:-) love ya!

2002-11-05T22:44:00.000-06:00

oh, please...oh, please...oh pretty, pretty please!!

so, remember i said i was going out to the Quarry tomorrow, hopefully to apply at whole foods? right...well, i checked their website, and discovered they have a position open at the Quarry location...it is for a "Whole Body Team Member" (nutrition is key!)...so, i applied...immediately! lol...and got a response! :) I was asked to explain why i wanted to work for whole foods and why in nutrition...so, i did my best...i pretty much suck at letter writing, but here it is:

Dear Elizabeth: First, let me say that I appreciate you responding to my query regarding the open position at the Quarry Whole Foods so quickly. As you can see from the resume I sent, I have experience in the food industry and would like to expand upon that. I think that my experience with providing superior customer service would be of benefit to Whole Foods. I have been able to work my way up, previously, from “sales girl” to Divisional Manager, and I believe that that experience helped me learn the importance of working as a team, not just as an individual. While working for La Bonbonniere Bake Shoppes, my duties included many of the tasks you outline in the job description of a Whole Body Team Member. It was necessary to provide outstanding customer service to everyone that chose to shop there. Sampling, stocking, cleanliness, and things of that nature were of the utmost importance to our business. I took great pride in the fact that we received numerous compliments daily on how clean our store was. I am extremely flexible with my work schedule. I think I have demonstrated an ability to learn and grow when I decided to change fields from bakery management to banking! I eventually was promoted to Customer Service Manager at Sovereign Bank, where good communication and organizational skills were necessary in assuring that our branch ran as smoothly as possible. I am very much interested in Nutrition and am always looking for new opportunities to learn more. I recently lost over 80 lbs. (still going!) and feel that what knowledge I have could be of benefit to others. In essence, I have learned through experience, that I love helping people. If I can make a difference in just one person’s life, I believe that it would be a blessing to do so. I am always willing to learn, and whatever I don’t know about Nutrition, I’d be willing to absorb in order to assist someone with nutritional goals. I would like to have the opportunity to work for Whole Foods because, frankly, I love to shop there. The store impressed me the very first time I visited it with a friend of mine. It was clean, the people were friendly, and the selection of products made me feel at home again. As you can see from my resume, I am originally from New Jersey. And the conglomerate grocery store down here in San Antonio just doesn’t carry a lot of the products I am accustomed to! Whole Foods gave me the impression that it is a great place to work; and I feel that I would love to have the opportunity to do so! If you have any other questions, please do not hesitate to ask. I was planning on visiting Whole Foods tomorrow (which will probably be “today” by the time you get this), so if it would be possible to meet with you then, I would welcome the opportunity. Thank you. Sincerely, Lilly Killinger

yeah, yeah, i know i suck at this, but i'm hoping it works!! (for people who know me, the "80 lbs." figure is including the baby weight lost...i'm not sure, but i think i've plateau'd for the moment...i'll check after "aunt flow" leaves...hehe) my grammar stinks, but i know how to sell myself, and i think i did a good job...now everybody cross your fingers and send me good thoughts, ok? b/c i know i would really love this job...i want it...i will get it!! :-D ok, that is all...gotta go to bed now...cya when i cya!!

2002-11-05T15:23:00.000-06:00

well...

i'm still looking for a job...i know that sending out my resume will not do much in the way of getting me hired...why, you ask? well, yeah, i look good on paper and whatnot, but my experience is probably the same as most of the people out there in customer service these days...plus, i work best in a "retail" environment (i.e., sales), and the best way to get those jobs is to get your ass out there and apply! apply!! APPLY!!! if i get a chance to interview, i'm usually hired on the spot...so, tomorrow (finally) i go out to the Quarry (which we were *supposed* to do this weekend...hmph!) and apply for as many jobs as i find signs for...first stop is whole foods (b/c it would just be wonderful to work there...mmmm...yes it would!!), and from there? who knows...but i will get a job tomorrow...just you wait and see...

This-or-That: November 5, 2002

1. Art or science museum? art...preferably modern and/or impressionist...don't like too much of the old stuff, and i don't like Rembrandt at all! 2. Play or watch sports? watch! i can't even remember the last time one could say i actually "played" a sport...gym class ruined all that for me, thanks 3. Zoo or circus? toughie! i love both, and i'd hafta say, just for the entertainment value, the circus! (plus, it was a fave b-day treat back when i was little...Ringling Bros. always made it in to Madison Square Garden right around my birthday! woohoo!) 4. Theater: film or live on stage? film...actors crack me up, and i doubt i could keep a straight face watching it live...lord knows i giggled my way through Cats... 5. Rock concert or the symphony? how about both? i seem to remember a cool concert on tv awhile back w/the Moody Blues at Red Rock (symphony orchestra in tow...) 6. Movies: see them in a theater or wait for DVD/VHS? well, if i can manage to stay awake, i prefer the theatre...these days, i tend to fall asleep...and snore! so movies are usually OUT... 7. Board games or computer/video games? ack! another toughie! well, i'd hafta say board games 'cuz they're easier! hehe...plus, monopoly is my fave, and no computer would let me implement "my rules" hehe 8. Hobbies: crafts (art, cooking, home repair, etc) or collecting (coins, stamps, rocks, etc)? crafts, crafts, and more crafts...not big on collecting stuff...it would only gather dust 9. Watch TV or read a book? *whimpers* ok, i can live w/o TV...honest!! i've often been forced to, so trust me, i can do it...i love reading, and so long as i have a good book, i am usually content just reading...had to chuck a ton of my books though b/c my son kept tearing them up...nothing hurts me more than a destroyed book... 10. Eating out: fancy, white-tablecloth restaurant or casual dining? casual, babe...as you might be able to tell by the way i write (which is pretty much the way i talk), i'm what most people call "uncouth" (whatevah!)...so, fancy-shancy stuff just doesn't work for me...it's not my bag, baby...LMAO! ok, i'm outta here...cya!

2002-11-05T10:26:00.000-06:00

Visit Hugh Now!!!

merci avec tout mon coeur! the only way i can "return" the favour is to send visitors your way... so, visit Hugh now, people! he is one of the best writers out there...funny, intelligent, witty, and positively brilliant... if you don't visit him, i will be severely cross w/you, so go! now!!

Standing Room Only

didn't i say visit Hugh NOW!?! click the links dammit!! :-)

2002-11-02T17:07:00.000-06:00

grrrrrrrr.......

i am so pissed right now...to use one of my gramma's expressions, "i'm so mad, i could spit nails..." you see...b/c i am not working, and b/c my darlin' is self-employed, things have gotten a bit more "tight" finance-wise... so, it's the beginning of the month, and we owe rent... my darlin's truck took a giant shit this past week, needing two new tires and a new radiator and some kinda pump thing (don't ask, i dunno) so, no money for rent... no money for my darlin's child support... so, we're being threatened by his ex...which is stupid of her b/c she's been overpaid for over two years now (he gives her more than the court ordered), and her payments would be cut down to almost nothing considering that he has two more kids to take care of now...namely, my children... and then, the topper? b/c my darlin' called our landlady to tell her that he saw our neighbours skipping out last night, she took it out on him and said we needed to be out by monday... that's right, kiddies...M-O-N-D-A-Y... now, i don't necessarily blame this woman, b/c we do owe rent...but she's his "brother's" wife!!!! *breathe, Lilly...breathe* so, we bought ourselves an extra week w/$50 that we can't really spare... my darlin' says that he found a really nice place by where he works for $650/mo & $400 down (yeah, mom, it's not like jersey where you hafta pay 1st + last months rent, plus 1 1/2 mo. security! sheesh...ok, sometimes they don't make you pay last months rent up there, but you know what i mean...) so, that's all good, but we can't afford it unless i'm working, and i don't have a job yet!! so... i went to hotjobs & applied for a shitload of jobs i found there...some i think i have a good shot at...others were just for the helluvit... wish us luck people...i am not gonna be a happy camper for awhile...just warning ya now.... do you know how badly i want to scream right now? i know things will be ok, i just don't like not knowing how this shit will resolve itself... i even did a quick reading to see if we were totally fucked, and we aren't...all things considered, things should be improving quickly... i just wish it would frickin' happen already....shit...i hafta go...got two babies cryin' their eyes out for no apparent reason...*sigh* Matilde: "is life always this hard? or only when you're 12??" Leon: "always like this..." 100 pts. to whoever correctly guesses where those quotes are from...i even made it easy w/the characters names... cya people... p.s. if you ever catch the european version of that movie, all illusions as to what was between these two characters are completely shattered...freaky!

2002-11-02T12:56:00.000-06:00

two more, and then i'll stop! i promise...hehe

~*~Butterfly~*~ ~*~Flowers~*~

fun, fun, fun...

yep, so i found a tutorial for PSP 7.0 online yesterday and went to town trying everything out...had lots of fun, but i won't torment you w/more of the artwork ('cept for the images above)...the flower one is made from the picture tubes of spring flowers...i'm hoping to make my own tubes soon...woohoo! :-D yeah, so i'm a dork, big deal...

uno, dos, tres...

anyway, i got my Spanish language software yesterday...yep, that's right, i'll be learning Spanish...my darlin' is gonna practice w/me every day and we'll see how everything goes...so far the hardest part is overriding the pronunciations in my head...i see "dia" (day) and i want to pronounce it "djee-ah" like in portuguese, not "dee-ah" like i should be pronouncing it...stuff like that...not only do i have to override the english, i also have to override the portuguese pronunciations...not easy, lemme tell ya...but i think i'm doing ok so far...and hopefully this will help me w/my portuguese too! the reason i'm doing this, btw, is because i figure if i'm going to try to have my own business down here, i'm gonna hafta speak Spanish like the majority of the folks here...so, i'll keep you guys updated...

and this concludes today's episode of...

well, that's pretty much it for me today...not a whole lot going on...my darlin' is gonna have his older boy w/him today, so i don't know if we'll be able to go job hunting today (for me)...and it's raining (as you can see from my weatherpixie), so i'm too scared to take the truck out on my own (i wanna go to the "Quarry" & see who's hiring out there)...we'll see what happens...in either case, have a great weekend everybody!! cya when i cya!!

2002-11-01T17:35:00.000-06:00

ok people...c'mon...i know you're visiting...

LMAO...yep, still getting tons of hits b/c of the telepopmusik-mitsubishi-justbreathe thingy...maybe if i put it in code, no one will find me...LOL...anyway, i "discovered" how to do the most fun thing w/my PSP 7.0 today!!! popart for the masses! LOL...here are my results...

~*~Moonlit~*~ ~*~Sunflower~*~ ~*~Nautilus~*~

can you say weeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :-D ok, i'm outtie! cya!!

2002-11-01T10:35:00.000-06:00

Friday Five...

1. Were you raised in a particular religious faith? nope...mom was catholic, dad was presbyterian and neither went to church 2. Do you still practice that faith? Why or why not? never had a "faith" 3. What do you think happens after death? long story short, our spirit goes to the other side, once there our spirit must review the life it just lived, learn from its mistakes, and prepare for the next life...unless all of its karma has been balanced, and then they don't have to come down here anymore, they just have to work on being closer to God...God is Love 4. What is your favorite religious ritual (participating in or just observing)? huh? we won't go there... 5. Do you believe people are basically good? i'd like to...doesn't mean i believe it, but i'd like to

well, there you have it...i usually don't like discussing my views on religion, but this being All Saint's Day...eh...why not... any questions on what i believe in? feel free to ask...i'm sure you won't get any answers you'd expect...cya later people... p.s. new commenting thingy by haloscan...this is my fourth, and hopefully my last, commenting thingy...:)

2002-10-31T12:23:00.000-06:00

3X Thursday 10/31/2k2 Press Start to Play

1.What is your all time favorite old fashion video game system or computer? Well, i love good ole Commodores...started w/the Vic-20 (games were on cassettes!! CASSETTES!!!! LOL and took 20 mins to load! hehe), got the 64 the 128 and finally the Amiga (can't remember which one, but i'm thinking it was the 1000)...did you know Microsquish stole the whole "windows" concept from Commodore? bastages... 2.If it were your job to design the ultimate video game what would it be like? hehe...well, to be perfectly honest, it'd have lots of cute little figures and they would all have to run around, having fun, bopping and jumping and...it would probably star Hello Kitty...there, i said it...hahahahaha.... 3.What video games are you really good at? any game engineered for a child of 5...seriously!!! i suck at all the "adult" video games...can't play RPG's...i kinda like the fighting ones, but they leave my thumbs too sore...hehe funny story about video games...you know the Tomb Raider series (everyone on the face of the planet should know what the hell i'm talking about)...Lara Croft? well, my brother rented one (don't remember which, but i know she was in some arctic area) and i was curious so i started watching him...the wolves attacking her were really freaking me out, but the worst was when she jumped down into this "pit" like area and out of nowhere this bear comes and attacks the shit outta her...well, let me tell you, when that bear jumped out, i frickin' screamed!! it scared the shit out of me, and i will NEVER play games like that...ever....*shudders* of course, this provided hours of amusement for my brother! *aaaaaiiiiieeeeeee* LOL...nutjob...

workin'

ok, now i'm on a job hunt...gonna get a real job, at least for awhile...i don't mind of course, b/c i actually enjoy working, and while staying home w/the babies is thoroughly enjoyable, i miss working and interacting w/adults...hehe...so, be prepared for many "bitchin' about the job" rants in the future...b/c most likely i will go back to customer service (oh joy! working w/the public! how fun!! LMAO!)...this came about rather suddenly too...my darlin' just called me out of the blue and asked if i'd be willing to go back to work ('til we get on our feet, so to speak)...i said "but of course!" (in my best fake french accent...kidding!)...so, i suppose the Venus in the 8th house thing manifested itself today...my darlin' has a lead on a job for me already...so, this should be fun...i did go to monster.com and put in a few apps., so we shall see what happens..."things are moving" eh? hehe...yep, i'd hafta agree...cya on the flip side!

2002-10-30T22:16:00.000-06:00

my latest adventure...

so, what have i been doing w/myself lately? i've been visiting belief.net! i've gone to this site before, taken a few of their quizzes and such, but never found anything that interesting...until the last few days when i really decided to "explore"...i found all sorts of discussions about stuff that i believe in! examples? look here, here, here and here... i'm not religious by a long shot, and i'm definitely not christian or anything like it...i know that i've been jewish in more than one past life, so that probably explains my aversion to christianity (ok, stop chuckling, i'm serious...if you don't "buy it" go read another blog b/c i'm not here trying to "sell it"...these are my beliefs, i don't trample on yours, don't trample on mine)...so anyway, i found lots of interesting threads to follow...of course, you will almost always find people who are not tolerant of other people's beliefs, but no one was seriously rude about it (and if they were i'm sure their comments were deleted)...i've only replied to two threads so far (one on auras, another on mediumship), but i've read alot of what's out there...so anyway, don't knock the site until you've tried it, that's all i hafta say...

in other news...

i'm getting my second headache of the day...i hate this and i want to cry...i'm not good w/headaches...some people can make it through the day w/o killing anyone when they have a headache...i just have the "desire" to kill...i don't act on it...hehe...well, unless there are spiders about...but anyway, i'm just a wee bit stressed, hence the headaches...hopefully all of this will go away soon...i hope, i hope, i hope! more hoping? i hope enetation gets its frickin' act together, quickly! i don't feel like paying $14 just to have steady commenting service here, ok? bastages.... and more hope? i hope everyone has a good night...take care my lovelies...and behave...it's mischief night, i don't want any eggs on our truck, ok? :-P

2002-10-30T13:01:00.000-06:00

Personal Daily Horoscope of Wednesday, 30 October 2002 for Lilly Killinger, born 29 March 1972 Attracting money Valid during several months: This influence can have several effects, often quite subtle. It can stimulate the sexual side of existing relationships and give love relationships a greater intensity. This is because sex goes beyond the physical act and becomes a vehicle for self-transformation and inward change. A love relationship that begins under this influence will be intense throughout its duration and will have a greater impact, for better or worse, on your life than other relationships. This influence may attract money to you through your partner, your business partner or through a bank or other public financial institution, without any special effort on your part. Obviously, this is a good time to seek a loan or other financial support. Transit selected for today: Venus in the 8th House 8 exact at 17:53 activity period from 9 August 2002 to 13 December 2002. well, this is most excellent news, i must say...on a passing note from a lovely astrologer i know, i looked up my current transits...i should have been looking earlier than this...it would have given me the heads up i needed to get through the past few days w/o pain...but at least i know now, in hindsight, what was up...i've got another that seems to validate the path i am choosing to travel at the moment... Selflessness *** Valid during many months: Under this influence, concern for others in your immediate circle will become a much more important part of your life. You will begin to realize the significance of friends and how important they are to you, and you will be less interested in getting your own way with them. Concerned about their welfare, you are willing to work for them if necessary. This belief may extend beyond your personal friends to groups you are associated with. Group ideas and values may be more important to you than your own. Spiritual concerns are also more important to you at this time than they have been before. This may mean that you will become involved in an organized religion or one of the other cults that have sprung up in recent times. Or you may travel on an individual spiritual path by yourself, depending upon what is the most appropriate approach for you. At this time you are able to devote your basic energies to transcending the limitations you have always accepted in life. If you work toward this goal, you can achieve great understanding. Under this influence you may work to assist people who are less fortunate than yourself or for causes you believe in. If so, you may work very selflessly, without thought for your own personal gain. It is not that you don't care about yourself but that you identify with the goals of the people you are helping. You perceive that you are much more than the self within your body, as you had thought in the past. During this time you will be much more sensitive to the world around you, so it might be a good idea to retire temporarily to a place where you can meditate upon your life in peace unless your everyday environment provides this opportunity. You won't suffer terribly if you cannot retire in this way, but you will not get the most benefit from this influence. Transit selected for today (by user): Neptune Sextile Sun activity period from 10 March 2001 to 6 January 2003. i'm pretty sure i mentioned it before, but i'm hoping to start a new business venture...it's an expansion on an old one (the website)...the new website is only part of it...i've already researched the avenues i'm going to take to advertise for it, and i think it will definitely be better this time around...but, that's not what this is about...i'm planning on renting a space to do my (various) readings at a local flea market...i've checked, and they have a tarot reader there already, but it's only just the one, and the cost of renting space there isn't that prohibitive...so, hopefully i'll be able to check it out this weekend and solidify that deal :-) some of my darlin's current transits were revealing as well...i know most of you don't care about all this, but i find it interesting, hence i will post about it...i'm off to read more on astro.com...cya when i cya!

2002-10-30T10:39:00.000-06:00

ok...here goes...

i almost never get very personal here for a few very good reasons... first and foremost, you people really don't need to know about my life...what i share is what i share, and hopefully most of you are happy with that... second, my emotions are very volatile, and i often go off on tangents that would get a sane person lost and confused...plus, i'm a bitch when i'm pissed or hurt third, it has got me into trouble in the past, hence i don't do it anymore... today will be a minor exception to the rule...(rule: no personal shit on the blog) i love my darlin'...with all my heart and soul i love this man...i call him "my darlin'" for a reason: b/c he is...there is no reason for you to know his name (though some of you who know me do), and it represents my feelings for him...he is my love, my "true love" if there ever was such a thing...he is an amazing man, if you knew him like i knew him you would agree...some of you only know of him what i mention in passing...some of what i mention in passing might not paint him in the best light...but know this: i love this man with every fibre of my being; i cannot imagine my life w/o him; he is the "glue" that holds this family together...he is my darlin', my papabear, my sweetness and my love...he is my baby, my honey, and the only man i can conceivably imagine spending the rest of my life with...this is not to say that we don't have our differences, b/c we do...we are human...but no one loves me like he does...and no one loves him like i do...we may be "a fucked up crew" (as he is fond of saying, jokingly), but we love each other...and i will not let anything get in the way of that...i will do whatever it takes to make my man happy, b/c i love him...so with that said, i give you...

Weekly Wednesday Wonderment

or WWW...for short

Love, it is one of the most complex emotions out there...If you have truly loved someone (romantically), what was your first clue that you were in love? and if you have never loved anyone, do you think it will ever happen? why/why not? Well, yes, love is very complex...it is often confused with infatuation, lust, friendliness...i think when we first "fall in love" that it is truly infatuation...it takes time and effort to build a truly loving relationship...when people ask me about love, i often quote a movie (though i don't remember which movie it is now, so if anyone recognizes the line, please clue me in!): "true love is when the needs of another person become more important than your own"...i believe this to be true...afterall, when you are infatuated with someone and they piss you off, isn't the first desire to break up with this person? (this would explain my track record, in the past at least, of not keeping a man around longer than 2 weeks to 2 months) i know it is for me...piss me off?? cya! bye...no, don't bother to write...yeah, sure i can be forgiving, but i have to truly love a person to do that...otherwise, i'd prefer to cut my losses, ya know? so, with that said, i think my first clue that i was truly in love is when i was able to look past all the hurt that i went through and still love the person, to forgive them and give them the benefit of the doubt that they wouldn't hurt me again...when i thought more about their needs and their happiness versus my own happiness...when i did everything i could to try and make them happy...sure, some people may not agree with that...but when i love someone, i give them my all...i don't know if it's right, but it's how i am...

in other news...

took my daughter to get her shots yesterday...poor thing was VERY unhappy! LOL...in her short lifespan, she has perfected the pouty lip...Elsa, you warned me! this girl is gonna play on my emotions like a child prodigy violinist!! oh, i have a tough road ahead of me! wish me luck!! ok, i'm probably not gonna be around much today...have things to do...things to look into...*sigh* cya when i cya! :-)

2002-10-29T11:32:00.000-06:00

even better...Tuesday's This or That!

(this is one of the easiest i've ever seen! :-D) 1. Apples or pears? Apples...i like Macintosh best, and the only ones i don't really like are the "delicious" varieties...pears are ok, but i only like the one variety and i can never remember if it's the green ones or the brown ones... 2. Oranges or grapefruit? Oranges...i can't eat grapefruit...one of the few fruits i can't stand 3. Broccoli or cauliflower? Cauliflower...num!! i don't like broccoli, and if i eat it, i only eat the stems...the "florets" are gross 4. Green beans or lima beans? Green beans, though i do enjoy lima beans in veggie soup 5. Winter or summer squash? Winter...most especially Acorn squash...mmmmmm 6. Blueberries or strawberries? Strawberries, though i do love blueberries too 7. Tomatoes or potatoes? Tomatoes...even before i went "low carb" i enjoyed tomatoes more than potatoes 8. Peaches or plums? Plums (this was the hardest)...i love peaches too...but there's something about the sweet/tart taste of a plum...delicious! 9. Peas or carrots? Peas...i won't go into my beef about carrots...hehe..."beef about carrots"...hehe 10. Asparagus or corn? Asparagus!! (although it might have been corn pre-low-carb) i love asparagus...very reminiscent of both green beans and peas in flavour...quite delicious!!

2002-10-29T11:09:00.000-06:00

mitsubishi, telepopmusik & google

10 hits...10 referrals from search engines in the past 24 hrs by people searching for that song from the new mitsubishi commercial...i take it these people don't have kazaa, b/c all i did to find it was type in "mitsubishi" & "just breathe" (which i just guessed was the name b/c the chick says it about three times in the snippet you hear on the commercial) and i found it...so...i'm sure i'll get more hits b/c of this post, here's the info: (for you searchers) Just Breathe is the name of the song Telepopmusik is the french techno/pop group that recorded it... Mitsubishi is the car company that made the commercial... if you download the song, look for other stuff by Telepopmusik, b/c they are really great...one of my new faves if you are into techno/pop/trance stuff, search for:

Underworld
Crystal Method
Daft Punk
Jungle Brothers

all major players, and easy enough to find on most P2P thingys (such as Kazaa)... this has been my public service announcement for the day...stay tuned for the "Two for Tuesday" installment...cya!

2002-10-28T22:43:00.000-06:00

well, well, well...

now i don't feel so bad about the stuff i write on my private blog...i found a code for me to encrypt it...hehe...so, unless you have my key, you are highly unlikely to ever decipher what i write there...i love it! :-D that is all....g'nite!!

p.s.

i don't know how long enetation is gonna be down for their upgrade, so if you have a comment you'd like to leave for me, please feel free to do so in my guestbook! it's off to the right under "other stuff" i believe...cya!

2002-10-28T10:58:00.000-06:00

one last thing before i go offline for the day...

i keep having strange dreams lately...nothing scary or anything, just frickin' weird...i keep seeing the same people in my dreams, but i don't know these people...and last night i dreamt my grandparents (father's side) were still alive...here's what i can remember... i am in a classroom, my friend Paul is there as well...i'm going to be teaching this class, but the desks are all wonky and need to be rearranged, so everyone starts pitching in and rearranging the desks for me, but they're doing it all wrong, and i'm getting frustrated... then, i go to the "class" next door, but it turns into a hospital room...my grandfather is there and he's in cardiac arrest, so i go to do cpr after yelling for a nurse, and my grandfather is now Hannibal Lecter...ooookay...but he doesn't want to hurt me, he's impressed that i'm trying to help him...he comes out of it and disappears down the hall...i run out because i don't want to be in the hospital when they shut it down to look for him...as i'm leaving i keep seeing these people at the door that i "know" (from previous dreams) but don't know... anyway, i take off for my grandparent's house, and when i get there my darlin' is there...we start foolin' around in the living room, but he hears something and swears my grandparents are home...then he gets pissed at me b/c i don't wanna stop just 'cuz they're home...i go to leave the room and i see my grandfather, through the window, out front doing something in the yard...he looks strange b/c now he has a mustache (he never had one in his life)...i go looking through the house and see my grandmother, through another window, out in the backyard w/one of her dogs (she loved boston terriers...ugliest dogs on the planet if you ask me)...i find the dining room, and i find one bathroom w/the door closed, and one w/the door open, i find the door to the garage, all the while i am looking for "our" room, b/c i am just in a nightie and want to get dressed...so i find our room, but it is freshly painted and empty except for a siamese cat (who later turns into an orange tabby)...i take the cat and go look for my gramma...when i get out the backdoor there are two chicks there w/my gramma...they are high school girls and they are going to the prom (i never went, would have preferred root canal work)...they are both little biatches who hate me and start making fun of me and my clothes, as if i were going w/them...i tell them to shut the hell up, i'm in a nightie for goodness sake and they're just making themselves look that much more stupid by making fun of me (hehe...i even called them "trailer park trash"...nothing wrong w/trailer parks though...) my grandmother is just watching us bicker, she doesn't say anything...the cat (now orange) is just loving on my legs as though i had tuna in my hand...they go to leave and my grandfather comes around (looking normal) and asks what's the matter....that's when i wake up i'm just all sorts of confused over this one, so if anyone has any suggestions/interpretations, feel free...cya later...i'm outta here....

2002-10-28T10:24:00.000-06:00

PromoGuy's Monday Mission 2.43

1. Ever do anything over and over just to make someone else happy but discover you actually hate it? do sexual acts count? LMAO! i'm kidding!!! yes, daily...i hate housework and can't wait for the day i can hire a maid...but i do it to keep my darlin' happy 2. What kinds of obligations do you enjoy? huh? doesn't the word "obligation" usually imply that it's a chore, hence that you don't like it? how about "responsibilities"?? i enjoy taking care of my kids and trying to be the best mom i can be (knowing my numerous downfalls)... 3. What are your feelings about celebrating Halloween? jeez...ya know, i never really went for the whole idea of dressing up and stuff...as a kid, i was really just in it for the candy, and now? i'm just not into it...if other people get off on it, that's fine, but count me out, ok? 4. Are there any stories of bodily functions you would prefer people not share with you in conversation? hehe...i'm one of those tmi people...i can talk about anything, much to other people's dismay...other than bleeding stories, i'm usually not gonna get grossed out...afterall, i have kids! :-P 5. What do you think is the most important aspect of personal hygiene that bothers you when people overlook it? bathing...bathing would be it...LOL...seriously folks, scalp oil smells, wash your hair once in awhile...and if you have oily hair, wash it twice a day...for the sake of my nostrils, please! (i have a sensitive sense of smell when it comes to certain odors...scalp oil being one of them) 6. Ponder the thought of being forever young, living on endlessly, being immortal. What would that life be like for you? oooh! i could be Highlander!! hehe...or at least hook up w/Adrian Paul?? LMAO! kidding again...um...i once believed in immortality, so i guess lots of travel so people don't get suspicious! 7. What's the last thing you felt was "worth fighting for?" i have no clue...i'm not a fighter, i'm a lover... BONUS: Sooner or later, they all will be gone...why don't they stay young? i'm sure this is some sort of song lyric, but i have no clue where it's from....why? because life is hard sometimes... ~*~ok, i will not be on much today...so be good kiddies! cya!!~*~

2002-10-27T20:06:00.000-06:00

just checking in...

hiya! just checking in...not much going on...hope everyone is having/has had a great weekend...cya!

2002-10-26T10:57:00.000-05:00

music...

Hugh, hon...lemme tell ya how many music files we have on this here comp...2464...of those, probably about 1000 are mine, and about 160 are techo/dance tracks (i just checked!)...maybe i should be the one making you a mixed CD?? ;-) which reminds me, since my son destroyed my Moby CD i gotta download those songs too...hehe...i'm gonna make it break 2500 today, you watch!! ;) music is as vital to me as breathing...i need music to survive...that silly question, "deaf or blind?" easy for me...blind...i could live w/o my sight, i've seen enough sunrises/sunsets to last a lifetime...but i could not live w/o music...or the laughter of my children...or the sweet whispers of my darlin'...nope...can't live w/o 'em... i have alot to say about music, but today is not the day for that...

The Walrus and The Carpenter

"Work?! The time has come," the Walrus said "To talk of other things Of shoes and ships and sealing wax Of cabbages and kings And why the sea is boiling hot And whether pigs have wings Calloo-Callay No work today! We're cabbages and kings"

2002-10-25T16:53:00.000-05:00

i'm bored...

boredom and surfing the internet combined is a dangerous thing... well, at least i'm not downloading porn, like some people i know.... and no, i won't mention names...hehe... afterall, we all need some donkey porn in our lives, don't we? LMAO!!! (this guy is probably gonna kill me for linking to his site, but he's from jersey, i'm from jersey...lol...where's the love, man??) i just get so silly at times like these... ok, i'm outta here...probably won't be back til monday... if anything interesting happens, email me, would ya? hehe wouldn't wanna miss anything... p.s. anyone looking for that song in the new mitsubishi commercial, go to kazaa and look for telepopmusik "just breathe" :-) telepopmusik is my new favourite techno/pop indulgence...

2002-10-25T14:39:00.000-05:00

what if...

i made this page all pink and flowery? would you all puke? yeah?? i thought so...hehe

2002-10-24T15:02:00.000-05:00

it still won't shut up!

i think my computer is killing my brain...i can think of a million things to say when i'm away from this thing, put me in front of it and i feel as though i've had a labotomy... my mind just keeps yapping like one of those annoying little dogs when i'm trying to fall asleep at night...it's very frustrating... anyway, i'm thinking of doing the flea market thing on weekends (readings)...figure if i put in 9 hr days sat & sun i should be able to make about $600 w/o killing myself...gonna check out how much it is to rent a booth and stuff this weekend...i'll keep ya updated... aaaaaaand...Heather made a comment earlier about how she liked a "splash page" for the first page of a website (ya know, where the first page you come to is just a big graphic for the person to click on to enter the site)...and thinking about it, i agreed...while i usually find splash pages a little pretentious, it is easier to just have that for the index and leave the "home" page as the intro page...in either case, i'm probably gonna design it that way...i'm very open to any and all suggestions, so please, if you have any (what you like/don't like in website designs), please pass them my way...i will warn you now that i don't always take people's suggestions...but i'm always interested in opinions and input...oh! and i have decided on the name of the website, but you can still vote if you like...i'm not telling what i chose (and only those of you who have seen the banner know what it is)...you'll see it when i have it up! ;-) cya later everybody...gonna go make a "menu" for the readings i do...hehe

2002-10-24T10:40:00.000-05:00

3X Thursday 10/24/2k2 Eat Your Veggies

1.Have you ever thought about being vegetarian? If you have not then why? If you are vegetarian then why? have i ever thought about it? if i liked veggies, sure...but frankly, i don't like the majority of them...it wasn't until i hit my 20's that i even dared try most of them (i was a corn/carrots/potatoes/peas/greenbeans kinda gal) 2.So do you like to eat your veggies? What fruit and vegetables do you like to eat? i like *some* veggies...i don't eat corn, carrots, potatoes, or peas anymore...i love yams, but i probably won't have a yam for a very long time...asparagus is nummy and i like cauliflower...i like broccoli stems (not the florets), and i enjoy spinach if it is drowned in Bearnaise sauce...oh! and i tried jicama and it is very tasty!...as for fruits, i love them all w/the exception of grapefruit and papaya...i've often said i could live on fruit...num! 3.What vegetarian food do you like? It can be made with dairy just not meat. Pick one non-meat food or drink that you think is groovy. well, during my experimentation w/veggies back in my mid 20's, i got a couple of vegetarian cookbooks to try stuff out...my all time fave was "cauliflower cheddar pie w/grated potato crust" mmmmmm....groovy food? hmmm...i love quiche! hehe (meat optional!) drink-wise? i love hawaiian punch...i miss it too...

2002-10-23T16:52:00.000-05:00

so much goin' on in mah head...lol

i think my brain is working on overdrive...can't get it to stop! argh!! i've pretty much completed three pages on the website now...two were total rewrites and one was completely new...i'm not used to having to write all this out and stuff...i'm not sure about the index page...i'm thinking i might have to rewrite it AGAIN, b/c it's just not working for me now...*shrugs* we'll see... what else? oh yeah...keep me away from themeworld please? i get sucked in and before i know it i've downloaded 22 more fonts...any clue how many fonts are currently on my comp?? try 389...yeah, i really needed 22 more! pfah! like i need a hole in my head, obviously... got my latest issue of blissout today...makes me miss Heather that much more b/c there's nothing more fun than pouring over girlie stuff in catalogs w/your girlfriend..."i want this, and one of those, oooh! look at that!!!" hehe ok, there is something a little more fun, how about actually GOING to bliss in NYC w/your girlfriend! woohoo! i wish! i miss that place...*sigh* the place i buy my crystals and such from is having a crystal conference next may, and i desperately want to go...i should have enough money to go by then, and i've invited Heather to come w/me (if i have the dough to pay her way, of course)...it looks like alot of fun, and a good learning experience...plus, it's in Vermont! i've never been to Vermont...the weather should be nice then, too! :-) all totalled, it will probably cost about $1000 to go (airfare, hotel, plus tuition & board)...which isn't bad, really...i should be able to save up enough, but i will also need to have them save a spot for me too, ya know? ah well...all will work out for the best, no matter what... i think that's it...at least for now...best i can do w/the current brainwave condition i'm dealing with...hehe

Weekly Wednesday Wonderment

If you could live in any country other than the one in which you currently reside, which country would you like to live in? Why? I would love to live in Germany. Not only is it part of my ancestry (i'm half brazilian, half german/hungarian/irish...my last name is german), it's just full of history. Granted some of that history is a little more than f'd up, but it *is* its history. I've seen pictures in travel magazines and the country just seems so beautiful. The mountains, the forests, the scenery...the only thing i'd miss is the ocean. I would love to see if i had any (very distant) relatives there. I would certainly "blend in" better over there, than here...i'm often told i look more European than American (aside from my weight of course)...but that's just looks, we won't talk about my accent, hehe...Plus, i find the German language very sexy! rowr! ;-) ok, be good kiddies...mama will bake some cookies if you behave! hehe...your choice too! want chocolate chip? or oatmeal w/raisins? or...peanut butter! num!! cya!

2002-10-22T14:28:00.000-05:00

Two for Tuesday

1. Tell us about your first time you ever kissed someone. Now please, you don't have to limit yourself, we wanna hear allllll about it. You know you want to tell everyone. Honestly i don't remember it...that seems so sad, but i don't...i vaguely remember my first "make out" session...i was 12 & it was w/the boy i'd eventually be "deflowered" by...i don't remember much, but i know that i had tons of butterflies in my tummy... 2. This one was sort of a toss up. So we'll leave it to your first job. (I'll leave the scandalous questions for later) We have all had those first jobs that we're not proud of, so it's time for everyone to fess up! let's see...well, my first job was as a salesgirl in an italian bakery...i made $5.05 an hr...of course, within 4 yrs i was a divisional manager in charge of two stores (w/a company car, no less) and was salaried making about $30k/yr...so, i'm not ashamed of that job, b/c it got me pretty far...:-)

in other news...

i know i said i wouldn't be around much...well, i'm not...hehe...i got the template (layout) designed for the website...made all the funky nav buttons and the banner and such...now i just have to rewrite the damned thing...got most of the page on auras done, will work on the rest and should have it all done by friday...then i just have to wait to have the money to get the website up, hehe...which should be within a month or so...i figure that if i get this thing up and running properly, i should be able to make $100k/yr easily...especially once i get the capital to invest in inventory...the readings alone should bring in good money...so, there ya go...i'm outta here for now...take care!

2002-10-21T11:11:00.000-05:00

PromoGuy's Monday Mission 2.42

1. Have you ever felt like you were expected to set a good example for others? not especially 2. What keeps you on the right path? For example, why do you think you turned out the way you did as opposed to the nut ball sniper out there? honestly, i have no clue...i should be nuts, by all rights...and considering all the crap i've been through in my life...yeesh! maybe it's that Pluto conjunct Moon thing? death and rebirth...could be... 3. Sometimes things seem different than they really are. When was the last time you believed something to be one way only to learn you had it all wrong? was maybe a year ago or so...too personal to divulge the details here though 4. Can you recall a time when being alert and observant kept you safe? kinda...like the time i was almost raped by this guy who was 21, 6' tall, at least 200 lbs. (i was 15 and considerably smaller and more sober)...i busted his arm...hehe (my Aries loves that!!) 5. Who in your personal circle of relationships do you think is smarter than you? Are they smarter in just one area, or overall? How do you feel about that? How do they interact with you? ok, well now you're asking me to bust out w/my ego and stuff...if i tell you that i don't think anyone is smarter than me will you hold it against me? oh yeah, alot of people know more about different subjects than i do, that goes w/o saying...i don't give a flying f*ck about politics or silly shit like that...i learn computer shit by the fly, so i have no technical knowledge, only what i see and absorb...anyway, bottom line, i'm extremely egotistical about my intelligence...i feel that both my darlin' and Heather are my equals though, i don't think i am smarter than either of them...(and other people online, but i'm just talking about people i interact with) 6. Let's daydream a little: Describe in detail the most perfect lazy day, start to finish. well, obviously the kids would be staying w/family members b/c you can't have a lazy day when you have kids...i'd wake up at 10 (which is about the latest i can wake up w/o being cranky)...my darlin' would serve me breakfast in bed...we'd daydream about the future for an hour or so...go drive around in the country for a bit...go have lunch at the Saltgrass SteakHouse (nummy!)...catch a movie or two...pick up Chinese on the way home and watch movies til we went to bed...hehe 7. Are you dressing up for Halloween? If so, what as? If not, how come? What is the most favorite costume you ever had? oh lord...the last time i dressed up for Halloween it was under protest when i was 12 (i had to take my cousin trick-or-treating)...i've never really been "into" the "holiday"...i only liked it as a kid b/c i could be a kitty cat and get candy at the same time...i always had the same costume, i was always a little black kitty cat... BONUS: Come on baby tell me what’s the word? hehe...i have no clue!

in other news...

well, i need to take some time off from blogging...i realized that w/the revamping of the website that i have to rewrite the whole frickin' thing...i have the page on auras written, and now i have to revamp the tarot part...then, i'm gonna have to redesign the whole thing...i made a banner type thingy for it yesterday, but i want something fancier, and i'm not sure how to do it...so i'm gonna have to play around w/PSP some more until i have it figured out...anyway, i have other stuff to devote my time to, so i'm gonna hafta take a little break from this blog...not that i write that much anyway, i'm just warning you that you might not see me for a week or so...then again, i could probably knock it all out in a day...you never know w/these things...so, i bid thee adieu...a bien tot...etc...until next time! cya!

2002-10-19T10:10:00.000-05:00

wonderments...

i meant to bring this up the other day and tend to forget all the things i want to blog about...does anyone out there watch the tv show "Ed"? the reason i ask is, if you watch the opening credits you will see the town i once lived in and worked in for over 5 yrs. It is Westfield, NJ...the big white church? that's the presbyterian church...the fountains? those are in front of the police station/municipal bldg...the little shop they walk by w/the green striped awning? that's a little cafe/diner thing that's been in the town for 90 yrs. (they renovated it just for the show)...the last shot w/the car going down a slightly deserted street? well, that's the turn off from the presbyterian church, it's the main drag in westfield and on the corner you can spy the rialto theatre (which used to be a great little theatre w/a balcony and everything, but then they renovated it and what used to be two big screens is now 4-5 little ones)...now, i knew that they had scenes from Westfield in the TV show, b/c everyone was talking about it when they were filming it (and i was working there at the time, so i got to hear all the gossip)...but i never watched the show, b/c basically it looked like boring old pablum that i'd rather not torment myself with (and i was right, btw)...anyway, i caught the opening credits the other day and was just flabbergasted!! with each new scene i kept saying, "that's Westfield!", "THAT'S WESTFIELD!!"...now, those of you who live in more urban areas of the country (and have your particular neighbourhoods filmed more often) probably think i'm being silly...but i was just so shocked that they took so much of the town and put it into that show...even the bowling alley! it used to be the Clark Lanes (Clark is a town that borders Westfield)...it's just weird...that's all... ok, i have to go do a reading for a friend now that i was supposed to do yesterday (but my headache just got the best of me and i went to bed at 8pm)...sorry, hugh! it shouldn't take me long to type everything up and send it to you...cya everyone!

2002-10-18T13:39:00.000-05:00

Friday Five time again!!

1. How many TVs do you have in your home? just one at the moment 2. On average, how much TV do you watch in a week? it goes on around 8am and doesn't get turned off until we go to bed...which varies... 3. Do you feel that television is bad for young children? my son watches it almost all day...from sesame street to teletubbies to barney (ugh!) to read between the lions to dragon tales...oh yeah, it's awful! (<~sarcasm) 4. What TV shows do you absolutely HAVE to watch, and if you miss them, you're heartbroken? there are no shows that i'm heartbroken over if i miss them...i do love to watch Friends, and i like to watch The Price is Right everyday too...i get so happy for them when they win the car!! :-D i love FoodTV and Trading Spaces too...stuff like that... 5. If you had the power to create your own television network, what would your line-up look like? oh lord! probably alot of GOOD comedies...i love comedies, love to laugh...i don't know...just no icky stuff...no blood, no guts, no gore...and nothing stupid...i hate stupid tv (i.e., blinddate, elimidate, most game shows [though i do kinda like fear factor])

2002-10-18T10:41:00.000-05:00

have you ever...

put your clothes in the dryer and then forget to turn the dryer on? i seem to do that alot for some reason...i don't know why...

agony...aaaa-goooo-nyyyyyy

so, i woke up w/a migraine today...i am not a happy camper...it's on the right side this time and seems to run straight back from my eye socket up my forehead and just a little ways back from there...i'm not sure if anything specific triggered it, but i want it to go away...i have no pain meds in the house, so i'm just gonna hafta grin and bear it...i should be getting my hair cut soon, which should help some...i get headaches from my ponytail (no, i don't tie it too tight)...my hair is so frickin' heavy that if i wear it "up" too often, the weight pulls it down and i get headaches from it...

in other news...

my darlin' came to me yesterday w/an idea he had...he did some house renovations for this woman who is a professional photographer, and he wants to hire her to take pics of the fam...well, i think it's a cool idea w/the kiddies and whatnot, but i hate...no, HATE having my picture taken...especially by someone other than myself! (i'm big on self portraits)...and doubly so by someone i don't know (meaning i have to trust you in order to let you take my picture)...he can tell i'm not enthused, but i don't necessarily want to tell him why b/c he'll think i'm being silly...plus the fact that i don't want to be reminded that i was ever this heavy...i'd prefer to wait until i lose all the weight to have my pic taken...i think this just all boils down to the fact that i don't like images of me...i've always been this way, so go fig... i know, i'm nuts...anyway, i'm gonna try and rest or something...i hate headaches (my one weakness w/pain, ya know?)...cya later, i hope!

2002-10-17T14:09:00.000-05:00

quiet...

quiet day today in blogging-land...had lots of excitement yesterday, and today seems relatively dull by comparison...i'm about to give enetation (my comments thingy) the boot if it doesn't start working properly soon...i guess i have to be a "contributor" to get good service...hmph!

in other news...

thanks to everyone who cast their vote for the new website's url...i appreciate it very much! i've been doing alot of research for the new website...i will be offering a lot more different kinds of readings and look forward to getting everyone's input and suggestions when i start putting it up...i'm also going to need more "guinea pigs" in the future (yep, more free readings!! hehe), so keep an eye out! if you'd like to be automatically contacted when i'm ready to experiment w/more readings, just email me at freetarotbyazure@hotmail.com (subject: future free readings) and i'll add you to the list! btw, i think the end of the world is coming, my son loves barney...lord, make it stop!! LOL... ok, i'm outta here...cya later!

2002-10-17T11:25:00.000-05:00

points of interest

so, i got a couple of catalogs today...first being Avenue (fashion for sizes 14 & up)...my thoughts? a) they sure are making sexier clothes for "women of size" lately.. b) AND they sure are working the whole "bigger women have cleavage" thing... c) it's a shame i'm losing weight, otherwise i'd buy tons of this stuff!! d) if i want to buy anything, i'll have to get it in smaller stretchy sizes so i can work my way down to having it loose on me...hehe e) wtf are gauchos doing back in style? didn't we get enough of that particular horror back in the 70's? dammit, the frickin' bell-bottoms (flares, as they are called now) were just starting to head out the door and now there's the gaucho again? must be the end of the world...that's the only explanation

the other catalog i received is *insert angelic music here* The Stash Tea Catalog...mmmm...talk about heaven...i want one of each and yes, please to all the teapots and cups and stuff...there are even tea scented pencils!! oooh! a ladybug tea set! woohoo! now i know what i'm gettin' my mom for christmas!! (she has a thing for ladybugs)....too cute! no cookies please, however...ya know...sugar...:-P~

ok, well, it's time to go read some books to my son...got some new ones in the mail today, so wish me luck! hehe...(he likes throwing them!) cya!!

2002-10-16T17:39:00.000-05:00

please??

if everyone could please cast your vote in my poll for the tarot/crystals/aura website url, i'd greatly appreciate it!! i added two new ones that i like alot, let me know what you think ok? and if you have a suggestion of your own, leave it in the comments, please! otherwise, please vote! i'd truly appreciate it (it's to your right~~>), thank you!!!!!

2002-10-15T23:38:00.000-05:00

will they never end?

ok, i just got a google referral for "naked hump babe gallery"...wtf?? i just don't understand...i'm goin' ta bed...sheesh!

2002-10-15T16:26:00.000-05:00

blah, f*cking, blah

see? i hate it when i get annoyed...and stupid shit annoys me...i knew this would happen, and i don't like it one bit...stupid

in other news...

no, i'm not gonna tell you what annoyed me, it's nothing terribly important, otherwise i'd be pissed instead of annoyed... i'm gonna be adding a little poll thingy on the side, b/c i want people's input on something but don't want to limit it to the comments thingy... while waiting for my domain registration to end elsewhere, i've been hunting down a new host...so, i'm probably gonna go w/dreamhost b/c they are reasonably priced and offer me the most bang for my buck, as far as i can tell...they have a package where you can have up to three domains w/all the trimmings (hehe) for about $20/mo. (they waive the set up fee if you prepay the year, which i'm hoping to do)...now, i'm gonna get my azuremariposa.com back, but i'm gonna make it my personal site...i'm pretty sure of the name i want to use for the tarot/crystals/etc. site, but i want input on it...so, that's what the poll is going to be about... i downloaded dreamweaver mx the other day, so i'm going to be revamping the site with that (i have the 4.0 version already, but the new one looks so cool! hehe)... it should be interesting, b/c i'm going to be adding some new services to the mix...i don't know whether i'm going to put my ikonboard back or not...i was hoping to do a little workshop deal w/auras and crystals...but i'm not good at teaching/explaining things to people...so, i don't know if i'm up to that task or not... and i figure i can use the third domain for the other endeavour i want to get into which is selling crystals, jewelry (hopefully some of my own design), and other such items...but that will come later out of the profits of the first site (i need to invest about $2500 in inventory before i can launch the crystal site)... plans, plans, plans...more stuff to think over...i need to put more of this down on paper (seeing it on paper helps me think)...i'll probably be back later tonight (hubby has band practice again)...for now, bis später! (hehe) cya!

2002-10-15T12:11:00.000-05:00

This or That

1. DisneyLand or DisneyWorld? i've never been to disneyland, but i've been to disneyworld over 15 times, so there ya go! 2. Amusement park or Themed park? what's the difference? um...generally speaking, neither...unless the weather is nice and it's not crowded... 3. Seashore or Mountains? seashore...hello??? 4. Hotel/Motel or rental house? rental house if we're staying 2 wks or more...otherwise, hotel is fine 5. Guided tour or aimless meandering? aimless meandering...i hate guided tours (boring!!!) 6. Drive or Fly or Boat? so long as i get there in one piece, i'm happy (though i prefer NOT to fly) 7. Close or far away from home? either/or...so long as the place is interesting 8. Daytrip or by the week? usually daytrips are pretty cool (took many to PA while i lived in jersey), but getting away for a week is nice too (wildwood, woohoo!) 9. Camping in a tent or the Holiday Inn? never say "camping" to me unless your idea of camping involves a three star hotel (or better) 10. Rent a car or drive your own? rent b/c most of my vehicles have been "less than perfect"...hehe

Two for Tuesday

1. Do you believe in ghosts? If so, have you ever had any kind of ghostly encounter? do i "believe" in ghosts? uh...i've only been seeing and hearing them since i was a kid, so yeah, you could say i believe in them...the best one so far was the girl i helped "go to the light"...it was very intense... 2. Do you like scary movies? If so, name one movie that genuinely frightened you. i hate them...with a passion...i have a very "overactive" imagination (yes, even today), and believe in alot of things most people think are silly...so, to see those kind of movies gives me the "willies" and i often have nightmares from them...though not slasher flicks b/c those are just stupid...i'm talking about supernatural ones...i'm still scared of birds due to seeing Hitchcock's movie when i was 5 and the one movie i can think of that genuinely frightened me was "American Werewolf in London"...don't get me started on werewolves, ok? *shudders*

2002-10-14T17:13:00.000-05:00

PromoGuy's Monday Mission 2.41

1. What's the most expensive meal you've ever eaten? What was the occasion? Was it worth it? when i lived in florida, i used to take a monthly trip to St. Augustine (i lived in Daytona at the time) w/family to a restaurant called Le Pavillon...i always ordered a shrimp cocktail & the filet mignon & a drink...my bill alone was about $35... 2. What do you like to do when nobody is looking? look for abnormalities on my skin...i'm also a scab-picker, pimple-popper, callus-scraper, etc...i'm weird about my skin 3. What's your special purpose? to show people what path they are on, and if they want to change it, how to do so... 4. Do you like Autumn? If so, why? If not, tell me about your favorite season. i love Autumn...crisp air, cooler temperatures...it's like heaven...the only season i like better is spring, b/c you have the same weather (generally speaking) as Autumn, but you also have the rebirth after the dead of winter...plus, it usually rains more in the spring, and i love rain... 5. Ever recommended a movie to someone only to have them hate it? Which movie? Did you feel uncomfortable about that? all the time, i have weird preferences when it comes to movies, and most people (w/the exception of Jake, it seems) seem to dislike the movies i love...Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs, Killing Zoe, Snatch...i could go on, but you get the idea...i don't feel uncomfortable w/stuff like that b/c it's all personal taste...no biggie... 6. I've had hay fever all day! Sniffles, sneezing, I tell ya, it's awful! Do you have any allergies? Anything that just gets you down for the count? allergies? yeah, unfortunately...hay fever usually, but lately it hasn't been that bad...some food allergies too, but nothing life threatening...my allergies hit me like the flu...i tend to get very sick for a few days, sometime as long as a week, and then they go away...it usually feels as though i have bronchitis, sinusitis, and laryngitis all at once, plus itchies...ugh!! 7. Do you like mixed drinks? What is your favorite? As long as we're here how about you order me something too? Just "suprise me!" i love mixed drinks (though i haven't had a drink in 3 years...no reason, either, so don't ask)...my preferences are for anything w/O.J. or Amaretto...(i.e., screwdrivers, fuzzy navels, bocce balls, amaretto sours, dr. pecker [i don't know if that's the real name...basically you drop a shot of amaretto into a glass of beer and chug...tasty!], stuff like that)...my all time fave is the Alabama Slammer, however...mmm.mmm.good! and that's what i'd order for ya too! ;-) BONUS: Why do we scream at each other? because, "This is what it sounds like when doves cry" :-D

2002-10-14T10:43:00.000-05:00

hmmph!

so many visitors this weekend and nary a comment, huh? well, that's ok...if this was xanga, i'd be worried, but it's not and i know my comment thingy tends to run a little slow...in either case, on to the news!

babies...gotta love 'em

so, my little one is very good at sleeping 8 hrs at a stretch at night, but she usually falls asleep around 8-9pm...so, unless i go to sleep at the same time, i get woken up just a tad before my time...now, for whatever reason, i woke up as soon as she started fidgeting (her crib makes little creaking noises when she moves alot), so i had time to run to the bathroom before she started cryin'...so, i come back, pick her up, give her a bottle and she fell back asleep...now, lately she hasn't been falling right back to sleep, so i have to sing to her to get her to sleep...but this morning, she just dozed right off...so i pick her up to burp her before putting her back in her crib, and it just felt so wonderful to hold my sleeping little baby... now, mind you, i am not the maternal type (Elsa, this is where we are polar opposites! LOL)...i never wanted children due to the fact that i thought i'd be a terrible mother...i am extremely impatient, have an awful temper, etc., etc....i never wanted to have kids b/c of this...plus, i wanted to make sure i was with the "right person" when i had kids, and since i thought i'd never find him, i figured the point was moot...little did i know that i would find him...it seems my body knew it was time before i did, b/c i was on the pill both times i got pregnant...also remember that i only have one ovary left due to ovarian cancer...so, to me it was a miracle i ever got pregnant...both times...lol... so, i still don't think i am a good mother, but i try the best i can to be one...i may lose my temper once in a while and get exasperated w/the fact that my son never listens to me (he's two, and going through his independent stage, so i try not to take it to heart that he listens to his dad but not me)...i may yell, or give him a smack on the thigh when he's been naughty (and he knows it), but i never hit him out of anger, i never beat him, and i always give him lots of hugs and kisses afterwards to show him that i love him...sometimes i look at what he's done and just shrug it off, b/c he's a baby still, and while he may "know" that mommy or daddy doesn't like it when he does something, he's curious, and i don't want to stifle that...of course, i don't want his curiosity to lead to burning down the house either, so it is a balance i am trying to achieve...i am not a good mother, i know that...but i try... so, back to my little one...it was just such a beautiful feeling to hold that sleeping little baby...and yesterday my son brought tears to my eyes and made me laugh again and again...he kept saying "i love you" and when i'd say it back, he would hurl his little body at me, throw his arms around my neck and hug me as though his life depended on it...he did that at least three or four times, and it swelled my heart each time...i knew motherhood would be difficult, i knew i would have a hard time...but i hoped i would be strong enough to cope w/the "downs" b/c the "ups" make all the difference in the world... being a parent is one of the most difficult jobs in life, and i don't blame people for not wanting the job...it's hard, it's tough, it makes you hurt, angry and you cry more than you've ever cried in your life...but children are the most precious gift...it's our job to protect them, to love them, and to show them the wonders of this life that they have entered...no one ever prepares you for the downside, but it is nothing compared to the upside...while i never "wanted" them, i am so glad i had them...they are my "riches" and w/o them i would be poor... now, go hug a kid and stuff while i mop up after all that blubbering...:-) sheesh...when i get emotional, i go all out, don't i? *ahem* well, i'm glad my keyboard is waterproof...i'll be back later, hopefully w/more irreverant (sp?) stuff...cya...

2002-10-11T18:04:00.000-05:00

yeah, so??

yeah, i got rid of the previous post...i just kept looking at it and thinking to myself, "that just isn't me..." so, there ya go...gone! hahaha

i was gonna quote Edith Piaf, but...

in the latest quest for silly shit to add to this here blog (i know, i know...will it never end??), i've added the bloghop thingy to the right...it's some sort of rating system (back when i started this particular blog [i've had others] i was on blog hot or not?...anyway) type thing...i like the idea, but tend to take people rating me "the worst" quite personally...afterall, this is my blog, about my life, so if they say it's shit, well...you get the point... so, if you happen to read my blog, and happen to enjoy my nonsensical ramblings, please rate me kindly...i'd appreciate it...(i could bribe you w/cookies if you like!) and for those that happen by and don't like my blog, it's ok if you want to rate me badly, i understand...and i'll try not to take it too personally and go fetal or some shit...i won't even threaten you w/my hacker skills (hehe)...

and with that...

i bid thee adieu...had fun earlier going to babelfish and translating my page into french...i'm quite happy that i still have my "accent" and that i could translate most of it back to english...i know i'm weird, but i just kept giggling w/each paragraph...i'm so easily amused...;-) cya! (might be back tonight...ya never know)

i'm baaaaaack...

told you i'd probably be back...i don't know why i'm so bored lately...seems i can't find anything to hold my interest...sucks, actually...

sidenote to Jake re: Atkins...

once upon a time i would have agreed w/you about it...but upon recommendation from a friend who is known for not bullshitting a person, i decided to try it, and to quote my friend, "it will change your fucking life, i swear!"...and it's true, it has totally changed my life...i feel healthy and invigorated...i'm not sick all the time anymore w/a million and one stomach ailments...in (almost) two months, i've lost 40 lbs. and many, many inches (see previous post today for totals)...so, while i respect your opinion of it, if you're going to call it a "scam" i suggest you read up on it a bit further to support your statement...just a suggestion...:-) take care! alrighty, i'm outta here (again)...hehe...cya!!!

2002-10-11T13:24:00.000-05:00

well, i'm bored...

so, now you're stuck reading whatever spills out of my limited little brain here...hehe sometimes i feel like Schultz from Hogan's Heroes..."i know nothink!" i mean, i'm a total computer dumbass...i'm lucky i know where to plug in the printer for goodness sake! sure, i know HTML (not many people don't these days) and yeah, i can play around w/CSS now and i can do a few tricks in java, but when it comes to setting up a computer, i'm an idiot...and if most programs didn't come with an installer, i'd be lost...it's not like the 'net, where if you go experimenting and playing around, you can just "undo" and be done w/it...noooooo...if you play around w/your computer, you could get fucked...proper fucked? oh yeah! proper fucked...so, i don't play, hence i don't learn, hence i'm an idiot... so, anyway, my SIR list has been growing and shrinking continuously the past few days...i love finding new blogs/people to read, but i have a hard time keeping up with many of them...i find myself visiting the ones that update alot most often, and then i feel guilty for not visiting the others...*shrugs* so i try to keep up...it's been easier lately since most everyone has been writing... which reminds me, i've lost another half inch off my waist, bringing that total to 4 inches lost now...i'm still at 3 1/2" off the hips and at least 3" off the chest... i had some hardcore carb cravings during my recent trip through the "red zone"...i did give in on one thing...pizza...i mostly picked off the toppings, but i did eat a little crust...i don't feel guilty about it or anything, b/c i feel i could have downward spiralled worse than i did and i didn't go any further than the pizza...it was pizza hut, afterall, and not that tempting...tried their "chicago deep dish", which was pretty cool b/c i could scrape off the tomato sauce fairly easily (if you missed it on previous postings, i don't like tomato sauce very much and prefer "white" pizza best) which they pile on top of the cheese and toppings...i didn't get the sausage b/c their sausage gives me heartburn...surprisingly enough, their pepperoni doesn't, so i got that instead...(isn't all this fascinating? i can feel you closing the window now...hehe) i got my son "lemon creme" cookies on my last grocery trip, and those were sorely tempting as well, but i restrained myself and was a good girl...sugar really makes me sick, and i just won't tolerate it anymore... well, i think i've bored every person to death by now...if you actually read all of this, i commend you for your diligence and masochistic tendencies...i'll be back w/my whip later...hehe ;-) ok, i'm going back to surfing...cya!!

2002-10-11T10:48:00.000-05:00

Friday Five again!!

1. If you could only choose 1 cd to ever listen to again, what would it be? a CD that never ceases to give me pleasure...Jamiroquai Travelling Without Moving 2. If you could only choose 2 movies to watch ever again, what would they be? toughie! first one's easy...Pulp Fiction! woohoo! second one? Snatch! :-D 3. If you could only choose 3 books to read ever again, what would they be? Earth by David Brin, The Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley, The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkein 4. If you could only choose 4 things to eat or drink ever again, what would they be? Diet Coke, Polish sausages (known as Kielbasa), Filet Mignon & Cucumbers 5. If you could only choose 5 people to ever be/talk/associate/whatever with ever again, who would they be? My darlin', my son, my daughter, Heather & my Avo (grandmother to you non-portuguese speaking people)

there ya go, hope you enjoyed! i'll be back later w/more interesting stuff...i hope! LOL :-)

2002-10-10T17:47:00.000-05:00

alrighty then!

well, i'm done for the day...my shoulders are killin' me for some reason i cannot fathom...tension i guess...

sniff sniff

this was probably the last time i will see Heather in awhile...she's goin' to California (back home, for her)...lucky girl...i'm gonna miss you!!! you're my only friend down here in this godforsaken state...and now i'll have no reason to look forward to thursdays!! :-( *pout* wah! don't stay out there too long, ok?

in other news...

i found a shitload of surveys to do, so if i ever need some filler, i have plenty to spare! i'd ramble on more about my life, but honestly, it's quite boring and i doubt many people would truly be interested...and all the juicy stuff gets hidden...so, there ya go... plus, you learn more about me through these silly little surveys anyway... i'm not political, i'm not a computer geek, i'm not too much into fashion, or movies, or TV, or celebrities...i'm just plain ole me...i guess i should talk more about the things that interest me, but it's rare that i come up with anything i feel worthy of blogging about... well, i'm gonna get outta here...go clean up and stuff...cya tomorrow! :-)

2002-10-10T12:55:00.000-05:00

ooooookaaaaay...

well, i did the blogchalk thing (it's off to the right) and now it's time to straighten up the house in anticipation of Heather's visit...so, i'll check back w/everyone later...cya!! :-D p.s. i'm really curious as to who in the navy is visiting me...wanna leave me a little holla to lemme know? ;-)

update:

navy mystery solved! Hi Jake! :-D

2002-10-10T10:50:00.000-05:00

3X Thursday from 8bitjoystick.com Now we are cooking!

1. What can you cook really really well? I mean this is something that you have down and can make a damn tasty meal or snack. well, i love to bake, so anything baked i have down cold...baked ziti, lasagna, cakes, muffins, cookies, brownies, you name it...the best thing i make? probably the Hungarian Kifli cookies i make...they are awesome,melt-in-your-mouth,goodness!! 2. What can you not cook to save your life? What do you absolutely suck at cooking? there isn't much i can't cook...even did a turkey for thanksgiving one year that turned out pretty damned tasty (again, baked!!)...i can pretty much make anything... 3. What do you like to cook and eat that no one else seems to like but you know it is damn tasty? something no one else seems to like?? that's the majority of my diet!! LOL...um...i love to make Quiche w/Asparagus and Swiss...most people i know don't like Asparagus for some reason...*shrugs* Bonus for Comments: What is the number one tastiest fast food? like i said, i love McDonald's Double Quarter Pounder w/Cheese, w/o the bun of course! mmmmm...i could eat three of 'em right now!! (haven't had breakfast yet) p.s. to Heather, yep, we're still on for today...and i'm not surprised we have even more stuff in common!! :-)

2002-10-09T22:22:00.000-05:00

for the helluvit...

well, so many people have done it, i figured i might as well join the bandwagon...here is my list of 100 things you probably didn't know about me...i might go back and revise it at some point, but until such time, this is what ya get! hehe cya!! UPDATE: well, it's almost midnight over here...no one is online...there's nothing to do (my darlin' is at practice w/his band...he plays bass)...so, i guess i'll go to sleep...kinda cold in this room anyway...my hands feel numb...i'm not tired though...but i bet i'll pass out within a few mins regardless...so, i guess i'll cya tomorrow...i think jake over at 8bitjoystick.com has a meme thingy for thursday (the link to his blog is to the right in my "sir" list), so i have that to look forward to! and i told my darlin' about the glass fusing thing, and he's very supportive of the idea...now, we just need the money! LOL...ok, g'nite everybody!!

2002-10-09T17:53:00.000-05:00

the tinyblog survey

What name do you prefer to be called? Lilly is my name, and it's generally what i prefer...although i prefer my darlin' to call me his mamabear, and i used to love being called angel too... Have you ever hallucinated something you knew wasn't there but looked real? yep, bad reaction to Reglan (used to fight nausea after chemo)...i kept seeing veggies fly at me... What is your favorite kind of tea? Oolong...just rolls off the tongue, doesn't it? i love tea: green, black pekoe, oolong, herbal, darjeeling, you name it, i adore it... What languages do you know swear words in? French, Hungarian, Italian, Portuguese, Spanish Do you believe in a benevolent creator? pretty much If so, do you have a relationship with it/him/her? makes it sound funny, but yes... Do you believe in homeopathy? yep What famous person you really wish you could be friends with? i think i could be friends w/Jennifer Aniston, even though her hubby makes me wanna puke...:-P What makes you act the most evil? hormones How much does your mom know about your life? as much as i let her know What music did you once love but can’t even listen to now? sorry, can't think of anything...i love music...only stuff i don't like is country *shudders* What’s the dirtiest book you've ever read? oh lord, i've written erotica stories myself, so dirty doesn't apply here...maybe the stuff Anne Rice wrote (series on Sleeping Beauty, i believe) Are you a top, bottom, or versatile? versatile, definitely...though i prefer to be on the bottom What is your most prominent dysfunction? hahahahaha...too many to list! most prominent? probably my insecurity/low self-esteem What is your favorite font? it changes almost daily! for awhile i preferred Tempus Sans ITC, but lately i lean towards MingLiU & Hansa What is your favorite kind of salad dressing? my own "nuclear waste" thanks...store-bought/restaurant? probably italian Ever had a major illness or injury? ovarian cancer...malignant...had surgery, then chemo...this december it will be 8 years since the surgery Ever come close to death? see above...nevermind all the car accidents i've been in Would you kill a man if it was you or him? most likely not...depends Would you kill a man just for lookin' at you funny? only with my eyes baby Are you still friends with your exes? that's a big "hell no!" good buddy What do you bring to a potluck? i'm an excellent baker, so anything baked...lasagna, pie, cake... Say one nice thing about the author of this survey? he has a nice blog! Okay, two things? hehe...i liked the pic of the kiddie! Say one nice thing about yourself, too? oh, if i must! i'm a very good listener... i think i will make one of these surveys myself...one day...hehe

2002-10-09T13:12:00.000-05:00

it's the end of the world as we know it...and i feel fine

why is everyone so depressed lately? and why am i included in that bunch? sheesh...you'd think everyone had taken some downers or were planning a trek to Jonestown...i was reading some blogs this morning talking about when and if the end of the world is coming and asking if we believed it was...now, i'm not gonna go into my whole belief about this, b/c it would just freak people out and i don't feel like dealing w/the questions...but, in all honestly, why dwell on it? if it's gonna happen, it's not like there's anything you can do about it, right? so go on with your life, live it up, enjoy what time you have here on this earth...life is a precious gift, don't waste it...(and no, i'm not entirely out of the "red zone" yet, just feeling a little better, that's all)

hump day meme

any meme's out there for wednesday? i need something to write, and those are easy!! hehe...i'd make my own, but i'm not good at stuff like that...

and before i leave ya...

so, what do you think of the new look? i had the burgundy/pink thing up for awhile yesterday, but wasn't totally satisfied...so, now it'd dark teal and light purple...whadya think? i like it...it might last a few days, who knows? i have so many background images stored in my comp, it's not even funny, so the possibilities are endless as far as i'm concerned... oh! and i joined up w/blogsnob today...the little thingy is off to the side under the bit about my tarot readings and above my amazon wish list...it brings up little ads for other blogs, and of course, shows an ad for YOUR blog on other people's blogs...i always love finding new blogs, so i thought it was a neat thing to sign up for... i was thinking of changing the "places i shop" thingy to all text ads too...might look better...anyway, i'm outta here for now...take care, and be good to each other...cya!!

2002-10-08T16:53:00.000-05:00

where has all the creativity gone?

once upon a time, i used to write a ton of poetry...this was many years ago, and i think i finally hit rock bottom with it about 2-3 yrs ago when i stopped...i've been writing poetry since i was about 12 or so (that i can remember, might have been earlier, but that's as far back as i care to remember as well...) and kept it up for quite awhile...(if you're masochistic enough, you can check out my poetry here...it's on a very old website i made back when i first started to play around on the 'net) anyway, i stopped writing shortly after i became pregnant the first time around, and haven't written much since...i'm not interested in taking it up again, so that's not why i'm mentioning this...my creativity seems to have branched into other areas, and i'm happy with that...i mostly play around w/graphics and design layouts for my blogs...i have a shitload of seamless backgrounds i've made and will probably do some templates for blogger if i feel up to it...i'm slowly learning more about CSS by playing w/my own template, so when i feel i have it "down", i'll go to town designing templates... anyway, the reason i bring all this stuff up is because i have a new desire, something new i want to learn...i want to learn how to work with glass...making jewelry and stuff like that...it's something i've always been interested in and i just really really want to do it now...i used to have these really cool glass bracelets that i bought in a little gift shop in New Hope, PA...i was totally in awe of them, ya know? and the other day, i'm watching PBS (shut up!), and Glass w/Vicki Payne is on...she has this chick on her show illustrating how to make these bracelets! omg, do you know how badly i want to make them??? to just let my creativity flow and go to town w/glass...so, i checked it out, and i can get all the stuff i would need to make them (and other jewelry) for less than $800...not that i have the money to spare (puleeze!!), i'm just saying...it seems like such an attainable thing...(if you want to see the kind of bracelets i'm talking about, check out this lady's gallery) *sigh* well, anyway, if i can't do it now, i'm gonna be able to do it in the future...that's all i have to say about it...i like the idea of working with glass, making jewelry (something i've always loved), and just being creative...i can't do poetry anymore, i'm just totally dried out in that area...but this...this i could do...it's getting to the point of becoming a painful desire...i'm gonna do it...i just don't know when... enough rambling...i've given you people three posts today...so i don't wanna hear any complaints, ok? ;-) hehe...kidding....cya!!

2002-10-08T13:25:00.000-05:00

100 Useless Thingies

stolen from Heather

Name: Lilly
AKA: Azure Mariposa
Gender: all woman, all the time
Zodiac Sign: western? Aries eastern? Metal Rat
Birth date: March 29th
Height: 5' 3 1/2"

.:Favorites:.

Color: Blue, then Violet, then Red, then...hehe
Color to Wear: Navy blue
Lucky number: i like 13 and 2
Piece of clothing: navy polo
Quote of the moment: Letting the days go by, letting the water hold me down...hehe

.:Sex:.

How many people have you slept with? actual sex or do incompletes count too? um...six...
Do you have b/f or g/f? husband, thanks...
Sexuality: boy/girl action is the one for me (sing to "green acres theme")
Your sexiest feature: Eyes.
A place you want to have sex: I'll take it where I can get it.
Kinky things you like: hehe...like i'd tell you!
A sexual fantasy: a threesome, but i'd never do it...and i'm not telling what i'd like two of, either!
A fragrance that makes you think of sex: male...:-D
Largest age difference between you and a partner: i'm not sure, honestly...maybe 5 years, could be more
The best lover you've been with: my one and only hubby, thanks...(hey, first man to lick the kitty wins! hahahaha)
The worst lover: i think his name was Steve...a Pisces...most of my bad experiences have been w/Pisces

.:The Last Time You:.

Danced: At a club? at least a year, if not more...
Smiled: this morning
Laughed: this morning
Had a phone call: yesterday...
Who was it: my darlin' called on his way home from work

.:Which Is Better:.

Sunrise or Sunset? Sunrise
Sweet or Sour? Sour...mmm...lemonheads!
Old or New? new
Hot or cold? COLD, anytime
Coke or Pepsi? since i went "diet", it's gotta be coke, but it used to be pepsi
Soft or Hard? hard...hehe
Yesterday or Tomorrow? tomorrow
Red or Blue? Blue, then red...:)
Fast or Slow? Fast, definitely fast...
Blind or Deaf? Blind, i couldn't live w/o music
Open or Closed? Open, i guess
Bath or Shower? Shower...i hate baths
Black or White? how about black pants and white shirt? :-D
Ocean or Forest? OCEAN! (as if there was any question!)
Dogs or Cats? cats will always prevail in my heart, but i like dogs too...
Day or Night? Day...
Cremation or Burial? Cremation, burial gives me the creeps
Even or Odd? Odd! no wait, you were expecting me to say that! Even!! hahaha
City or Countryside? City...duh!
Vanilla or Chocolate? Chocolate
Sun or Rain? I'll take rain over sun anyday...
Pen or Pencil? Pen, if there's no other choice
Summer or Winter? Winter...i'll miss the snow this year...*sniff*
Destiny or Choice? Both...;-)
Alone or Together? Always together...
Silver or Gold? Silver...or platinum, if you really love me...hehe
You keep a diary: This blog, and the "private" one for things i'd rather not say...
You sketch or do things while on the phone: all the time...mostly hearts, arrows and swirls
You have a secret: HAHAHAHA.....
You snore: worse when i'm stressed...
You procrastinate: i'd win the gold medal for it if it was a competition
You fold your underwear: into little triangles...shut up!!
You talk in your sleep: sometimes...you can even ask me stuff and i'll answer...hehe
You eat fast: all the time...i've tried to slow it down to less than a Hoover-pace though
You get horny: again...HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! i don't "get" horny, i "am" horny...it never ends...
A naked photo of you exists: yep, and i'm not telling where
When the alarm goes off you immediately get up: and shut it off, then go back to sleep for a half hour
You enjoy being photographed: by myself...other people just don't do me justice! ;-) hehe (kidding!!! sheesh!)

.:Just Stuff:.

IF YOU COULD BUILD A HOUSE ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD IT BE? Near the ocean, but it'd have to be somewhere that "hurricanes hardly ever happen"
WHAT'S THE MOST SURPRISING THING YOU HAVE EVER DONE? left NJ to move to FL to be with a man i'd known for 3 months, and only met twice
FAVORITE PHYSICAL FEATURE OF THE SAME & OPPOSITE SEX? same? breasts opposite? hands
WHAT'S THE LAST CD YOU BOUGHT? probably Eminem
WHERE'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO BE? the beach...
WHERE'S YOUR LEAST FAVORITE PLACE TO BE? stuck somewhere high up and i can't get down
WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO BE MASSAGED? Back, then feet
WHAT'S MOST IMPORTANT, STRONG IN MIND OR STRONG IN BODY? Mind...as if that was even a question...
WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE IN THE MORNING? usually between six and seven
WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW? i don't know...i watch The Price Is Right everyday...that would be it, i suppose!
WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE KITCHEN APPLIANCE/TOOL? microwave, followed by food processors and stand mixers...hehe
WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE CHILDHOOD MEMORY? don't have one
WHAT/WHO MAKES YOU LAUGH? most people make me laugh...but my darlin' makes me laugh the most
WHAT MAKES YOU REALLY ANGRY? Ignorance. (hafta agree w/Heather on this one)
IF YOU COULD PLAY ANY INSTRUMENT, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Piano...i can play by ear, but I always wanted to learn
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE RESTAURANT/CAFE/EATERY? toughie...Outback Steakhouse, probably..."Ayers Rock Strip"...mmm...
SCARIEST MOMENT OF YOUR LIFE? i don't like to talk about it
IF THERE WAS A MOVIE MADE ABOUT YOU, WHAT HOLLYWOOD STAR WOULD YOU LIKE TO PLAY YOU? haha...i'd play myself, thanks!
DO YOU BELIEVE IN AFTERLIFE? kind of, in a way...
WHAT'S YOUR LEAST FAVORITE HOUSEHOLD CHORE? i thought i covered that yesterday...folding clothes!
IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE SUPER POWER, WHAT WOULD IT BE? telekinetics
IF YOU HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT IS IT? tigerlily flower on right ankle
CAN YOU JUGGLE? a little
THE SONG YOU WISHED YOU HAD WRITTEN? Never thought about it. (again, have to agree w/Heather)
THE ONE PERSON FROM YOUR PAST YOU WISH YOU COULD GO BACK AND TALK TO? no one, really...
WHAT'S IN THE TRUNK OF YOUR CAR? nothing, i don't have a car
WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE DAY OF THE WEEK? Wednesday (uh! me too! [Heather will get it!])
FAVORITE SONG TO DANCE TO? if it's got that Samba beat, i'm dancin'...
WHAT ONE WORD WOULD DESCRIBE YOU BEST? nutjob
WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE SUPERHERO? Wolverine (Heather! stop it!! ;-) you're takin' all my answers!! ok, ok...i just like Hugh Jackman! hehe)
WHAT TWO (no, three!) THINGS WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO IF YOU ONLY HAD TIME: go to the beach more often, and go to Europe...and Brazil
DIAMONDS, EMERALDS OR RUBIES? Ruby, then Emerald, then Diamonds
DRIVER OR PASSENGER? Passenger, so i can look around and fall asleep when i want!
SINK OR SWIM? Swim
HEAVEN OR HELL? i liked Heather's answer best, but i think i'd prefer another galaxy...oh alright, neither and both! ha!

2002-10-08T11:55:00.000-05:00

ommmmmmmm.......

yeah, "om" not "um"...as in the meditation thing...leave it alone, b/c i'm still in the "red zone"... balance...ah yes...Elsa, you rightly bring up my Libra to trump my Aries...well, i'm gonna trump ya back and give 'em my Aquarius! hahahahaha...

me, myself & i

so, ya think i'm a flake cuz i read tarot and use crystals and can see auras and all that stuff, eh? well, add astrology and numerology to the mix too buddy... i was born many moons ago with the sun in Aries, the moon in Libra, and Aquarius on the horizon...now, anyone who knows a smattering of astrology will note that my sun and moon oppose each other...they are opposites in the zodiac...while my Aries wants to fight, fight, fight, my Libra wants peace, love and harmony (man...oh so hippie of me)...problems...and as Elsa has pointed out, to make ourselves happy we must "Live our Sun & Satisfy our Moon" (send me the link to the blog, babe! i'll link ya!) what this means is (and i'm generalizing here, b/c i'm not an expert and i'm also not good at explaining things), we must live our daily lives as our Sun signs but also do enough in the background to satisfy our Moon signs... example: i'm an Aries...Aries are brash, arrogant, positive, independent, impulsive, etc...i am happiest when my actions are just screaming, "i'm an Aries! deal with it!"...i like working for myself (independent), i enjoy creating new things & acting immediately on a whim (impulsive), i tend to think i'm "the shit" in certain areas (arrogant), you get the point...so, what does my Libra moon need? where does "peace, love and harmony" come in? well...i need peace in my home...can't stand upheavals of any sort, so moving frequently throws me off kilter, arguments make me nauseous...Libras also like things pretty (it's the Venus thing)...so, a pretty home makes me feel good...nice colours (when possible)...also, b/c of Venus' influence (and my Aries ego), i love makeup and can spend hours playing with it, looking for new and interesting combinations...so, there ya go...when i push myself down and don't stand up for myself, i'm denying my Aries, making myself unhappy (hence yesterday's post)...when i build myself up and yet don't step on toes, i am living the "good life"... now, as for that Aquarius...that's my Rising sign or Ascendent...(as Elsa puts it) my first handshake/first impression...when people meet me they usually think i'm a little eccentric (which is cool by me), perhaps a little aloof, stuff like that...that's because Aquarius doesn't really give a shit about you...they like being different, unique, an individual...they believe in space men and astrology and any other bizarre phenomenon they can sink their teeth into...they wear electric blue shirts with fuschia pants because they CAN...they are the innovators, the oddballs, and the freaks...and ya know what? they love it!!! that's right, they love to be the "nut"...there's more to Aquarius than that, of course, i'm just condensing here... so, in essence, today is "i don't give a shit" day, in honor of my Aquarius...i don't care what anyone else thinks, but i'm not gonna step on any toes (Libra)...and i'm not gonna tolerate other people's shit, either (Aries)...so, there ya go... and while most people don't like their Ascendent, i love mine...(just to be different...hehe) cya...i'll be back later...

2002-10-07T15:18:00.000-05:00

mental notes to self...

people think you're a flake when you discuss tarot and crystals...shut up about them
don't assume just b/c you read someone's blog everyday that they are your friend...they don't know you...don't take it personally
you are weird, get over it
you are illiterate and should be banned from writing...or just blogging...not sure which
cramps fucking hurt, don't forget the painkillers next time you go grocery shopping
folding clothes sucks more than washing them...hire a maid when you get rich
who are you kidding, you will never be rich...suck it up and fold the fucking clothes
small lizards are scary...hell, lizards are scary...especially when it looks as though they are trying to climb up your pant leg
get off the fucking internet and do something useful with your life already

Come fly away with me...

tired, tired, tired...

movin' on up...

update

well...i don't know what to say...

free readings...yeah, you heard me...free! heh

i think i am letting myself become too sensitive again...

so, what have i been up to lately?

sorry if this is your first visit to my blog...

ok, i'm seriously pissed off now, so be prepared for the rant...

this is what happens to naughty visitors...

sorry i sound like such a dork!

fun, fun, fun...

so, this is it!

in other news

people must really think i'm stupid...

Review: Pilates Bodyball Kit

for those that love memes

AOhelL...really?

wow...look at what a few linkies can do!

audio

also in the news

whadya think?

life...

blah, blah, blah...

win the lottery? i wish!! hehe

astrology...

i'm happier than a pig in sh*t! hahaha

well, i guess i wasn't missed, eh?

so, didya miss me?

in the news...

hmmmmmmmm........

MAKEUP!

my babygirl

update

well...some good news for a change

*crickets*

here's the latest...

pizza pie...

more food related stuff...

in other news

money on my mind

it came and went...

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

and now, a word from our sponsors...

chocolate? did somebody say chocolate??

anyway....

i've got the blues...or is it the purples?

sick...

NJ...

girl, what's wrong wit'you?

music on the brain...

hmmm....

to "SIR" with love...

i'm not MIA! i swear!

*weight loss news*

i'm back and i'm tired...lol

all of me...why not take all of me?

better late than never, eh? hehe

This-or-That: November 19, 2002

rats'n'cats

oddities...

drama...

UPDATE

TGIF!! woohoo!

*ego alert!!* TEACHER'S PET *ego alert!!*

i'm tired...

and the beat goes on...

one last thing...

AOL was holding me hostage...

newsflash...job at 11!

oh, please...oh, please...oh pretty, pretty please!!

well...

This-or-That: November 5, 2002

Visit Hugh Now!!!

Standing Room Only

grrrrrrrr.......

two more, and then i'll stop! i promise...hehe

fun, fun, fun...

crickets

weight loss news

ego alert!! TEACHER'S PET ego alert!!

sniff sniff